Wednesday, August 17, 2005
« My ideal US location | Main | Real blogs and spamblogs »
More ideal US locations

The various locations that findyourspot have generated for various individuals certainly makes me wonder about issues of payola. What is it that makes Little Rock and Sheboygan appear on the list of self-proclaimed urban culture buffs in search of the finer (blue) things in life, but not places like New York City and Seattle (I do notice with some shame that My Brother The Thief has managed to cleverly select his answers in a way that brings Seattle into his list, perhaps just to rub my nose in it). So a few moments to see just what could be making Little Rock and Sheboygan so desirable for the Dunce family (and other individuals perhaps of my acguaintancedave), although I should note that Tulsa also came unexpectedly onto the "desirable" list for others (exhibit A, B, C).

First we start with Little Rock, Arkansas. According to the official website the city motto is "City Limitless" (a bit of a linguistic abomination, at least according to the icky feeling in my stomach). Like all other cities in the world, Little Rock offers "a wealth of unique sightseeing, day trip and tour opportunities", but even beyond the unique is the "one-of-a-kind [attraction] like the new William J. Clinton Presidential Center & Park." Little Rock is also home to the minor league baseball team (sigh!) the Arkansas Travelers (just to give you an idea, they blew their most recent game because one of their players forgot to touch third base [this is not a euphemism]). It's also the headquarters of the Arkansas Cattlemen's Association (get your Cattlemen's vanity license plate here[PDF]), and has street gangs if we want to join right in (Sensible street gang members, too, as indicated by this quote which led the article linked above: A Little Rock gang member, asked by a judge why he shot two men, had a two-word answer -- "Bad decision.' That's my sort of gangbanger.). But finally I found the answer, just what it is that makes Little Rock an ideal hometown. Like the gangbanger's answer, it comes in two words: books and banjos (conference site). We love books and don't mind the sounds of banjos, so Little Rock could be the home for us.


Now we turn to the puzzling question of Sheboygan. The Chamber of Commerce calls it "a great place to live, raise a family, retire, golf and is a world-class manufacturing community.". The things to see and do page gives a clear indication of priorities: five entries for "Arts", six for "Bowling/Billiards". Not wishing to endorse stereotypical views of Wisconsin in general I should also quote the Chamber of Commerce site again: "When people think of Sheboygan County, the first things that come to mind are golf and fishing." (apparently good for record-size brown trout, but that has to be a euphemism), It also seems popular for hunting as well (never mind that there were quiz options related to golf, hunting and fishing, and I can't see the Dunces [or the otherdave] being especially positive about any of these). Hate crimes? Check. Meth labs? Check. Porn ring? Ummm, maybe I'd better stop. I think I'd prefer Little Rock.

When I completed the quiz, I went back and did it a second time to see what my least suitable US locations might be. I did this by answering the opposite polarity for every question for which I expressed a preference ("neutral" items remained neutral), and selected the least desirable option when given choices. I'm sorry to report that the Gulf Coast featured extremely heavily on my no-go list (Mrs. Dunce's mother lives in Pensacola, which at least does not appear specifically on the list). But it makes sense as I am a major whiner when it comes to hot places, especially when they're also humid.

1. Melbourne FL
2. Fort Myers-Cape Coral FL
3. Mobile AL
4. Biloxi-Gulfport MS
5. Savannah GA
6. Yuma AZ
7. Coral Springs FL
8. Ocala FL
9. Dothan AL
10.Beaumont TX
11.Port Arthur TX
12.Wilmington NC
13.Delray Beach FL
14.Boca Raton FL
15.Galveston TX
16.Tyler TX
17.Scottsdale AZ
18.Jackson MS
19.St. Petersburg FL
20.Lakeland-Winter Haven FL
21.Corpus Christi TX
22.Killeen TX
23.Athens GA
24.Tuscaloosa AL

Ummmm, looking a little closer it looks like my no-go list is heavily overlapping with the real list of Mrs. My Brother The Thief. Don't worry, I'll still come and visit (perhaps hiding inside air-conditioned buildings).
travel
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 9:14:46 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  |  Related posts:
Pinner Open House
A Gazillion Days Ago I mentioned the Glasgow Necropolis and I'm finally writing about it
Visiting Glasgow
Life ain't easy for a boy named Sue
Tottenham Cemetery and Hairy Beasts
Nowy Sacz - Krakow (Day 7:Poland - Slovakia)
 Tracked by:
"Blogging for the obsessive-compulsive sort" (Confederacy of a Dunce) [Trackback]
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 4:50:24 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
you gotta love how they hyphenated "child por-nography" in mid-line, in that Sheboygan porn ring article...
otherdave | otherdaveAT NOSPAMdavevision dot com
Friday, August 19, 2005 3:20:01 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Worth noting, Mrs. Dunce's mother did not pick Pensacola. Mrs. Dunce's father, who had an inordinate love of golf and mowing yards, decided to go there. Mom turns beet red as soon as the mercury tops 80. A trait she lovingly passed on, I might add.
Heather-in-law
Name
E-mail
Home page

Comment (HTML not allowed)  

Enter the code shown (prevents robots):