Confederacy of a Dunce - New Year festivities

Monday, January 02, 2006

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This blog is a year-in-review-free zone because I've grown so bored of year-in-review articles and programs everywhere I look. I suppose they serve a purpose if you've forgotten who had the biggest hit in January, whether Tom Cruise did anything interesting this year, how that wacky German election turned out once all was said and done, or if the official first baby born in 2005 has suffered as a result of all the publicity. All quite useful if you spend your New Year's Eve making a highly-detailed timeline of the year just finished.

As usual, the Dunces had fairly limited plans for New Year's Eve (not including highly-detailed timelines, so we are not eligible for any timeline prizes [should any such prizes be on offer]). Previous New Year celebrations in the Dunce household have included a small gathering with another couple (who were unfortunately going through some relationship stresses; tears preceded the arrival of the new year by at least an hour. Perhaps the tears signified western Europe's new year), and two years ago it was just the two of us hanging around the lounge (plus a load of home-made Cajun food). Last year we joined a gathering of Folks in the early evening for some food, drink and socializing, before heading off to a (rather dire) north London pub featuring music by the Redlands Palomino Co (sadly they were not the headlining act). But we left fairly early, thanks to my nasty cough which, as it turns out has chased me on and off all year (that's NOT a year-in-review comment, just a whinge).

This year we decided to join the Folks again in the early evening hours. Most of the Folks had obtained tickets to the sold-out Tapestry club (hosts of the acclaimed Tapestry Goes West festival) at the St. Aloyisius Social Club in north London, but not us. Perhaps it was lack of planning (tickets were not sold at the most convenient locations, although we could have asked any of a number of people to get them for us), perhaps it was a total lack of enthusiasm for the musical act (early-70s style hard rock, all of their songs sounded like Black Sabbath songs that weren't quite good enough to make it onto their albums). Instead we were somewhat planning to visit a work colleague's New Year gathering, or perhaps wander into our Local, or the most likely but unspoken plan: when the rest of the Folks headed down to Tapestry in the 9-10pm hour, we would sneak back home and see in the new year there with the cat and the couch. But instead, we were drawn along into the Tapestry excitement as the evening progressed. Nearly everyone there was planning to go, and a spare ticket miraculously appeared at a crucial moment. So we joined the gang on the bus, headed south by southwest (ok, more like west by southwest but I couldn't resist), destination: St. Aloyisius Social Club. As the two of us only had one ticket between us, I considered various possibilities for getting in (sneaking in through the chimney, hiding under Mrs. Dunce's coat like a pantomime horse, barging in by overpowering the door staff, bribery, fast talking, etc.), or whether I would be sent home with my tail between my legs (in which case, most likely celebrating the turn of the new year from the top deck of the 253 bus, probably in the shadow of Holloway Prison).

But as we gathered at the door, another ticket materialized (I believe belonging to one of the advance party who had entered by other means [whether fair or foul I do not know]) and entry was assured. The advance party had colonized one of the tables near the bar, which is where we spent most of the next few hours. Crucially, the band (and DJ) were in the adjacent room, so we were able to socialize without shouting our throats raw. The party raged on, but eventually the Dunces (and the Autocrat) began to flag, and made our way to a nearby bus stop (not the nearest, mind you, as I decided to hurry up the street instead of down it, mistaking a "children crossing" sign in the distance for a bus stop [time to get my eyes checked, perhaps]). A couple of hours after midnight on New Year is not the most pleasant time to be riding a bus. Throngs of revelers trying to crowd onto it, including plenty of drunk, aggressive groups trying to stir up trouble with other similarly drunk and aggressive groups; confused travelers trying to get to distant parts of London on whatever buses were available; and those simply trying to keep their eyes open until their stop. As usual we were traveling by the upper deck, so we were blissfully unaware of the massive crush downstairs (no one is supposed to stand on the upper deck, so it's usually the least-crowded part of a double-decker bus). I was a bit worried about fighting my way out (one of my greatest dislikes is working my way through a crowd of people) but figured we had a little longer to wait. As it turned out, a lot longer. Just across Holloway Road (i.e., just a few minutes out of the shadow of Holloway Prison), as we passed a crowded bus stop without stopping (this sometimes happens when a bus is full, much to the dismay of anyone waiting) the driver honked the horn and slammed on the brakes, and a number of passengers on the lower deck did a bit of screaming. What a delight, our bus had apparently hit someone. We were seated on the wrong side of the bus to see anything, so we just waited as the bus mostly emptied and people milled around. Others crowded around the windows of the upper deck to see what was going on. It was apparently difficult to figure out what was going on, thanks to all the additional staggeringly drunk people around the scene (sample exchange: "Oh no!! He just got up and then fell down again". "No, that's someone else. The person who got hit is over there."). Surprisingly, after a few minutes the bus resumed its journey (apparently before any police or ambulances arrived [I guess they were all dealing with stabbings and drunken violence]). By the time it reached our stop, indeed it was so full that we had to fight our way to the exit (I pity the drivers who had to deal with this sort of fun all night). Fortunately Mrs. Dunce led the way, and I followed in her wake (she is quite good at this, and seems somehow to inspire a minimum of aggressive responses when she fights through a crowd of people). It was just a short walk around the corner and home (where the cat had had her own New Year's celebration, pulling lights and baubles off the Christmas tree and batting them around the house). And then it was off to bed, for the first fitful sleep of the new year.

music

Monday, January 02, 2006 1:38:44 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)