Monday, April 18, 2005
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Imropve Yuor Ercetion Toady!
Yesterday we spent a good chunk of the day working on an erection: a 6x8' shed in a friend's back garden. Despite some initial concerns about the level of precision and the likelihood that the afternoon would culminate only in misery, construction was a success. It went from something like this to something rather like this.

I am among the most inept when it comes to DIY efforts, although this time I only caused a few problems: treading on an infant's toy (hey, it was underfoot!) and kicking a pint glass across the garden (see "treading on an infant's toy"). After this experience I decided to compile a list of important things to remember, should I ever find myself in charge of constructing an outbuilding.

1. Make sure the ground is level.
2. Make sure the ground is solid.
3. Use your equipment safely.
4. Keep the baby off the roof!
5. Don't forget the phone number of your favorite personal injury law firm. (Inclusion of this link does not imply endorsement of said personal injury law firm, nor does it offer any critique of said personal injury law firm, but only to recognize its existence as a personal injury law firm and, as such, apparently relevant to the domain of personal injury).
6. A good shed is above the ground, not below it.
7. If your shed looks like this you're probably on drugs. Why not have a nice sit down for a while?
8. Don't put a screw in your nose. It's never as funny as you think it will be.
9. Show up late and maybe someone else will have finished it already.
Monday, April 18, 2005 3:05:05 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [6]  |  Tracked by:
"Spammy, spammy, spammy" (Confederacy of a Dunce) [Trackback]
Tuesday, April 19, 2005 3:53:47 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
You admitted to being a procrastinator, but goodness, the ability -- and desire -- to find all those pictures is astounding! Also humorous, but still astounding!
Heather-in-law
Tuesday, April 19, 2005 9:28:46 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Thanks for the compliment. As it turns out the picture search is not nearly so time-consuming as it may seem -- Google Image Search is quite powerful if you select decent search terms.
The Dunce
Tuesday, April 19, 2005 8:52:33 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Your expert help would have been very useful during the building-of-our-shed project back a couple years ago. You know, the one where the guy at the home-improvement store told us it would only take a weekend -- and, well, it didn't...
The Sister
Wednesday, April 20, 2005 10:01:49 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
No one commented on the title of the post?
The Grunt
Friday, April 22, 2005 12:12:35 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
No, Grunt, I'm afraid all references to the title of the post have been deleted as potential comment spam (along with all other comments containing any permutations, variations or near-synonyms of any of the words in question, including anagrams of the entire title which might deliver the same message, such as "MEDICATIVE TERROR UPON YOYO", "MEDICATE YOURE IVORY PRONTO", "TROOP YOUR CYANIDE OVERTIME").
The Dunce
Tuesday, May 03, 2005 3:40:58 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
If you are the person who found this entry by searching for (how to put a roof on a 6x8 shed), please follow my advice carefully. Especially the part about the baby; babies are notoriously deficient when it comes to roofing. Instead, assign the baby to picking up fallen nails and the like.
The Dunce
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