Monday, February 13, 2006
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Well, today was the day the Dunces went to take the UK Citizenship Test. I was planning to say a little bit more about it, but the terms & conditions forbid doing so. Something like "if you reveal the contents of the test, you will be automatically failed, drawn and quartered, broken on the wheel and dismembered, with your head placed on a pike near the city gates, and your body left for the crows". So I can only reveal the important details: we showed up, provided our £34 testing fee (each!), and sat down for the test: 24 multiple-choice questions, administered by computer, with a mere 45 minutes allowed. Five minutes later (literally) we were both finished, both with passing marks. It happened so quickly I didn't even think of asking whether I could bank the remaining minutes for future use. Next step: getting certified copies of our passports (we could submit our REAL passports but then our activities would be seriously curtailed for however many months the process requires).
Monday, February 13, 2006 1:14:41 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 1:31:31 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
The actual terms preclude any form of torture (given the current environment, nudge, nudge) but instate a lien against future earnings--a change which has produced quite an annuity for the naturalization office. Of course, revealing the terms, even in a misleading manner, will make you subject to closed circuit scrutiny for the rest of your time on British soil (hmmm, not such a penalty after all).
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 4:18:44 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
I just want to know if the question, "If you accidentally spill someone else's pint in a pub, what should you do?" was on the test. Since you can't actually give details, perhaps one blink for yes and two blinks for no would suffice. You have to blink anyway.
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