Wednesday, February 01, 2006
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Secret savings plans

For the past two and a half years, I've been employed as a research fellow, paid through a research grant investigating how language-specific properties affect the way speakers think about objects and events in the world. A few weeks before this grant was due to end, certain members of my department discovered some kind of minor error, reflected in the last budget/spending report. It seems that there was a sizable surplus in the "salary" category, amounting to some thousands of pounds. "How could this be?" they wondered. As it turns out, it was all because of me.

I was previously employed here on another research grant, and when that ended and the new grant started, my appointment was set up under the same terms (in particular, that I would be paid at 85% of full time). I was under the impression that this was being done because I had not successfully obtained a Ph.D., and thus was only entitled to a percentage of the pay that would be earned by a Ph.D. holder. The administrator of our department also thought this to be the case and was quite aware that I was on an odd sort of partial appointment. However, my supervisor somehow managed to miss this minor point, believing that I was on full (100%) pay and budgeting the remaining salaries accordingly. There were plenty of opportunities for her to discover this discrepancy: my employment contract and my work permit renewal both contained statements concerning my partial appointment level; I applied for bridging funds to cover the gap between two grants at the partial appointment level; I may have griped a few times about being on a partial appointment. And most crucially, as the grant progressed the monthly budget/spending reports clearly indicated that a salary surplus was developing. Anyway, regardless of how many signs were missed, this discrepancy was finally discovered just before the grant finished (thank goodness!), and a concerted effort was made to get the surplus funds to their rightful owner.

I received an official apology from departmental staff immediately, and an assurance that they'd work quickly to get me my money by the time the grant ended (31-January). Sure enough, a couple of weeks later, I received a delightful letter from University Higher-Ups:

Dear Mr Dunce,
I am writing to confirm that I have been informed by your Department that your FTE should have increased to 100% from 1 July 2003. Unfortunately your FTE remained at 85% resulting in you being underpaid....
Your file has been passed to Payroll and Pension Services who will adjust your salary accordingly and arrange for you to receive payment of the arrears due....

This was very encouraging, but I wasn't going to be happy until I got my money. And yesterday, there it was, having magically appeared in my bank account overnight. So indeed, for the past 30 months I've been saving an additional 15% of my salary without knowing it. If it were coming in on a monthly basis, I would surely have spent it on fast cars, fine cigars, expensive champagne, jewels and furs. Now, instead, well I guess I will still be spending it on fast cars, fine cigars, expensive champagne, jewels and furs.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 1:12:51 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
Friday, February 03, 2006 4:14:01 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
i suppose some of the obvious choices for ways to spend the windfall (aside from a trip to WINDFALL INDIANA) -- riotous living can only go so far -- would be to plan an exciting family vacation -- paid for by the GENEROUS brother, of course -- to some terrific locale. Make it after Mrs. Dunce's soon-to-be-favorite niece/nephew arrives, though.
The Sister
Friday, February 03, 2006 7:13:36 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
O-or perhaps on a visit to good ol' San Francisco!
(funny how everybody becomes your friend and leaves comments when you get a raise.)

One thing I was wondering about though.. You mentioned that they pay you in pounds. Of what? And where are you going to put this newfound thousands of pounds of whatever it is? (It'd better be dense.)
otherdave | otherdaveAT NOSPAMdavevision dot com
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