Confederacy of a Dunce - Imropve Yuor Ercetion Toady!

Monday, April 18, 2005

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Yesterday we spent a good chunk of the day working on an erection: a 6x8' shed in a friend's back garden. Despite some initial concerns about the level of precision and the likelihood that the afternoon would culminate only in misery, construction was a success. It went from something like this to something rather like this.

I am among the most inept when it comes to DIY efforts, although this time I only caused a few problems: treading on an infant's toy (hey, it was underfoot!) and kicking a pint glass across the garden (see "treading on an infant's toy"). After this experience I decided to compile a list of important things to remember, should I ever find myself in charge of constructing an outbuilding.

1. Make sure the ground is level.
2. Make sure the ground is solid.
3. Use your equipment safely.
4. Keep the baby off the roof!
5. Don't forget the phone number of your favorite personal injury law firm. (Inclusion of this link does not imply endorsement of said personal injury law firm, nor does it offer any critique of said personal injury law firm, but only to recognize its existence as a personal injury law firm and, as such, apparently relevant to the domain of personal injury).
6. A good shed is above the ground, not below it.
7. If your shed looks like this you're probably on drugs. Why not have a nice sit down for a while?
8. Don't put a screw in your nose. It's never as funny as you think it will be.
9. Show up late and maybe someone else will have finished it already.

Monday, April 18, 2005 3:05:05 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)