Thursday, July 14, 2005
I was a bit wrong
...in my last entry when I said that the journalists seemed to have moved on. I was just looking in the wrong place and at the wrong time. When I left work, I could hardly move for the crush of journalists. Well, not exactly, but there were an awful lot of them scrambling to get good spots for their live reports on the evening news. Mostly British and European although I didn't exactly stop to ask (I was busy making shouting noises at people who were aimlessly wandering into the path of my bike with ladders, tripods and the like). The police cordon has shrunk yet again, although I still have to go a few blocks out of my way to get home.

As I write this it's approaching the moment when, one week ago, the bus explosion happened. I was rather surprised not to see more cameras and crews converging on the area to note the moment. Probably, though, I was just at the wrong place at the right time. I rode past the Kings Cross area on my way in, and it seemed like business as usual (hurrying commuters, befuddled tourists, near-gridlock), but for a few minor differences (police everywhere, media vehicles parked in every back road I could see). I didn't actually see any journalists in action, so maybe they were undercover (or more likely I'd missed the rush by arriving later than the precise moment ["Exactly one week ago, London's Olympic celebration was shattered forever...", "I am here live at the scene, well not exactly the scene, but the scene out of the tunnel, up the escalators, out of the station, across the street and over the way, from where one of the bombs exploded...", and so on]). Despite wandering on foot with my bike in hand (or at least, guiding my bike with my hand), and trying to look "informed" I was not interviewed or even journalistically approached (I was asked for directions a couple of times. Just keep going that way/immer geradeaus).
travel
Thursday, July 14, 2005 8:52:45 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Gradual return to normality
As the days pass, the cordons around my workplace become fewer and fewer, gradually narrowing down to only a block or so around the site of the bus explosion (and the entrance to Russell Street tube station). A few police officers are hanging around each one, remarkably patient at having to answer the same few questions over and over and over and over. Here are the answers in case you'd like to play at police:

I'm sorry, you can't go through there.
I'm sorry, Russell Square station is shut.
No, I don't know when it will re-open.
Just keep walking that way to Holborn.
Go around that way, take the first left you can, then left on the Euston Road to Euston station.
Go around that way, take the first right you can, then right on the Euston Road to Euston station.
Go around that way, take the first left you can, then right on the Euston Road to Kings Cross.
The nearest (taxi/bus) is a few minutes' walk that way (point in any direction other than through a cordon).

There are very few journalists now at the sites immediately around my office; I suspect many of them have bolted for Luton or Leeds (or anywhere else that starts with L) now that this area is old news. Doubtless there are still a lot around Kings Cross which lends a good scene for a stand-up on the evening news. I'll go around that way on my way home to see. Rumor has it they're drinking the local pubs dry, although thirsty local workers and gawkers may also be playing a part.
travel
Wednesday, July 13, 2005 4:17:35 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Monday, July 11, 2005
Riding the bike more?
It's a busy day today (totally back to normal as far as work is concerned) so I don't have time to write much. I wasn't going to write anything at all but this changed my mind. I was walking my bike along the pavements near Euston Station (too gridlocked to ride at that point, and those who ride their cycles on pavements [US = "sidewalks"] are idiots) and was approached by someone from BBC radio (at least that's what he said). He asked me "After the events of last week do you find you're cycling more?" I replied that no, I cycle every day1, and that I think everyone should cycle more, so he wasn't interested in talking to me any more. I'm sure he found someone, and I can only imagine the story he ended up with. After the break, (oh yeah, if it's BBC there won't be a break) meet a terrified commuter who took to the pushbike to avoid public transport hell, and met a hell of his own on the snarled streets of London. Sigh. Or maybe he was just looking for someone whose commute was altered by the closure of the Piccadilly line. That could have been me except these days I prefer to take the bus if I'm not on the bike.

1 Not exactly true as I will accept many excuses to leave the bike behind.

A side note, a reader of one of my previous posts reported being "disappointed ... in that there isn't a British term for speed bump. That seems like the quintessential American term that could be improved by a spot of the Queen's English." I must have forgotten to take my clever pill that day, for there is in fact a truly British term for a speed bump: "sleeping policeman". I was aware of this term but have never heard it used. But it's in the UK lexicon, at least enough to warrant a (side) entry in the Oxford English Dictionary (under "sleeping" and "policeman", A person or object regarded as a deterrent or obstacle. In phr. sleeping policeman: a ramp in the road intended to jolt a moving motor vehicle, thereby encouraging motorists to reduce their speed.).
bike | language
Monday, July 11, 2005 2:20:40 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [3]  | 
 Friday, July 08, 2005
The next day
After finishing off yesterday's entry, I decided to make a move and head for home. Leaving the area I had to pass through three or four police cordons which were letting people out but not in. Except for the extremely large number of journalists who were within the second or third circle. I was briefly interviewed by one of them as I wheeled my bike under the police tape, but as I didn't have much to say and didn't look suitably disheveled (I did look somewhat disheveled but that is my everyday appearance), it's extremely unlikely that I'll appear in the news as a result ("Coming up after the break, meet the cycling psycholinguist who heard a boom and then browsed the web looking for news!!"). By the time I got to Mrs. Dunce's office the scene had changed -- the roads that remained open were jammed with traffic, and a swarm of pedestrians was headed north. We joined the walkers for the 5.2-mile trek (at least according to Multimap's route planner). Some buses were running from Camden Town, but we decided not to bother (I had my bike, Mrs. Dunce wasn't interested in fighting the crowds, and it was sunny but cool). Rather than stay in the swarm, we wandered off the main roads and took a more residential approach through the back streets (4 bedroom house for sale, in need of modernisation, Camden Borders, £525,000). Eventually (just under an hour and a half) we got home, and flopped down on the couch in front of the television.

Today's travel news suggested that travel into London was ok, except for the affected tube lines, so we decided to come in as usual (well, not entirely as usual as we took our sweet time getting out of bed and getting ready). I biked in without incident... until I came to the affected area within a block of my workplace (and just by the site of the bus explosion). Streets were still cordoned off, and all traffic was diverted around (including foot and cycle traffic). The picture below indicates my route to work (marked in green, starting on the right side of the image).



I was first turned back as I approached the nearest intersection to the bus investigation site, proceeded around until I reached the (Quaker) Friends House where I was able to cut through. I approached my department again from the west, coming within spitting distance before I was turned away again. The officer suggested that entry was being permitted from the south, so that's where I went. Denied entry at the top left corner of Russell Square, then once again at the top right corner (exhausting all possibilities by road). Finally I retraced my steps back around Russell Square to the rear of the Institute of Education. I went in through the back door (with my bike), exited through the front door and zipped right into my building. After all that, I find that some of my cow-orkers and collie-gues got in without incident. Maybe I looked like a wild-eyed loony (fair enough) or perhaps they were intimidated by my bike. And that's where I am now.
bike | travel
Friday, July 08, 2005 10:13:48 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Thursday, July 07, 2005
London explosions
I am here at work just around the corner from the bus explosion on Tavistock Square. The area is completely cordoned off and eerily silent except for passing ambulances on occasion. Other folks who came to work late didn't manage to get here, being turned away at Holborn (for example). It's hard to know much about what's going on, I finally managed to catch an online radio station (first Resonance FM, then LBC once Resonance started playing music; everything else is overloaded) but most of my time is assuring everyone I know that I'm ok. Phone contact is irregular, I guess because the lines are overloaded and/or limited for security/emergency purposes

This morning I took a #253 bus to get here, when it stopped at Euston station there had already been some trouble as the station was being evacuated and vans full of police officers in an extremely frantic state zooming in the direction of Kings Cross station. I walked to work from Euston, right down Tavistock Square, the eventual site of the bus explosion. I heard the explosion from inside the building, but I'd not been here long at all. Mrs. Dunce was on the tube (Victoria Line), passed through Kings Cross on the way to work, but had arrived very promptly before anything happened (the station was closed, or being closed, but they passed without incident). Now all zone 1 buses are on hold, and the entire tube is shut down.

For now, we're just waiting around and gathering news (online), gearing up for a six-mile walk home when the time comes (update: it'll be a while -- the police are "suggesting" to people going outside that they go back in). But we're OK.

UPDATE: official advice from university officials is to stay put. They're looking into the availability of temporary university housing for those who won't be able to get home.

The view from the 5th floor balcony of our building is something else. The streets are completely deserted except for quite a few police officers at the intersections. Not even the sound of traffic reaches us here.

ANOTHER UPDATE: official advice has been modified: "The current advice from the police is still that people should stay in their place of business.  We acknowledge however that staff/students will foresee that getting home or to friends tonight will take much longer than usual, and, notwithstanding the current police advice, if they think it wise to set off earlier than usual they should feel free to do so."

So with that I'll be setting off within the next hour or so; I'm unlikely to add any further updates in the immediate future.

P.S. I (still) am not sure what is going on in the Big Brother house at the moment.
Thursday, July 07, 2005 11:49:28 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [6]  | 
 Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Olympic Fever
Well, it's now been decided that London will host the 2012 Olympics. Rather than ranting about its expense and lack of value to me as an individual (or cheering the regeneration of a massively deprived area), I've decided to focus instead upon my own Olympic dream. After all, it'd be a shame if I didn't participate, since it'll be practically right around the corner; I could probably even walk there, although I'm sure athletes will have special transport opportunities (the Olympics will be held in the future, so athletes will probably get there by jet-packs or matter transporters). But first I need to decide upon an event! The list of sports can be found here on the Olympic site. I can rule out team sports as I have neither the time, nor the energy (nor, some would argue, the interpersonal skills) to assemble a suitable team. That eliminates baseball, basketball, football, handball, hockey, softball and volleyball. I'm also not much of a violent person and haven't been involved in a fight since my little brother stopped beating up on me (and I don't want to start again just for the sake of winning another gold for the U!!S!!A!!), so that's a big no for boxing, judo, taekwondo and wrestling (and I should probably avoid fencing as well). I don't especially like horses (and am about at the limits of my abilities as a provider to deal with the demands of a lone house cat), so I'd better not take up equestrian or modern pentathlon. The remaining sports, however, all seem possible (especially since I have plenty of time to prepare). I could rule out the boating sports (canoe/kayak, rowing, sailing) on the grounds of equipment, but I have previously achieved waterborne success (2nd place, Father & Son canoe race, Wildcat Creek). Therefore I have decided to let chance determine the category of sport I will pursue in the hope of winning gold in 2012. Here are the categories:

1. Aquatics
2. Archery
3. Athletics
4. Badminton
5. Canoe / kayak
6. Cycling
7. Gymnastics
8. Rowing
9. Sailing
10.Shooting
11.Table Tennis
12.Tennis
13.Triathlon
14.Weightlifting

In order to choose my sporting category I went to random.org which generates numbers using atmospheric noise. I selected a single random integer from the range 1:14 (corresponding to the digits above) (I realize this may give unfair weight to those classifications with fewer individual events). As it turns out, random.org gave me #4, so I will be chasing gold in BADMINTON. Men's singles to be precise, as this is the only individual event for which I qualify in this category. I have even played badminton before, although perhaps a more leisurely version than is played in international competition.

So who is my competition? Badminton has been an Olympic sport since 1992, Indonesia has 7 medals (two gold), China has two (one gold), Denmark one gold, South Korea one silver, and Malaysia one bronze. And that's it. In 2004 the gold and bronze were both won by Indonesia, and Korea took silver. The winner, Taufik Hidayat, is often described as temperamental and called the "bad boy of badminton" (and for good reason as he has had his Eric Cantona moment, maybe even more than one). But he's only listed as being 5'9 and 141 pounds, so I'm sure I could take him. Besides, he'll be really old in 2012 (31!) so I'm sure he'll be past his prime, while I instead will be right at the peak of my badminton career.

Now I just need to decide whether I should participate for the U!!S!!A!! or take on British citizenship and win my medal for the Queen. I think there's only one way to go, really. If the Olympics were in New York it might be different.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005 2:29:42 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Monday, July 04, 2005
Of nerds, spazzes, wonks and dweebs
A brief question ("Where does the word ‘nerd’ come from?") on Arcite's Day (a blog tenuously linked to mine, in that we both contain Diamond Geezer on our blogrolls) led me to wonder about the origins of the vocabulary of insult. There's an interesting discussion on the typology of social misfits at the cul de sac and this discussion thread [among many others], but as these terms are extremely flexible in use (one man's geek may be another man's nerd; exactly what distinguishes a swot from a boffin may simply reflect local preferences rather than universals, and who uses terms "egghead" and "sissy" to refer to nerds these days?), I decided instead to look at the origins of some of these terms (there are just too many of them to cover the entire spectrum of them, so I just picked some that seemed interesting). Unless specified otherwise my references are taken from the Oxford English dictionary (the definitions may reflect UK use, but the etymological information is quite well-documented).

NERD:
"An insignificant, foolish, or socially inept person; a person who is boringly conventional or studious. Now also: spec. a person who pursues an unfashionable or highly technical interest with obsessive or exclusive dedication." The origin of "nerd", as it turns out, is a matter of some contention. In fact, "nerd" is one of the target words on the BBC Word Hunt list (a "major forthcoming BBC2 series"... intended to involve the public in helping to "rewrite 'the greatest book in the English language'."). The OED suggests that the origins of "nerd" may lie with Dr. Seuss: "nerd, a fictional animal in the children's story If I ran the Zoo (1950) by ‘Dr. Seuss’, depicted as a small, unkempt, humanoid creature with a large head and a comically disapproving expression. Alternatively, sometimes explained as a euphemistic alteration of TURD ... , although given the predominance of early spellings in -e-, this seems unlikely. The suggestion that the word is back-slang for DRUNK n. is also unsupported by the spellings, as is derivation from the name of Mortimer Snerd, a dummy used by the U.S. ventriloquist Edgar Bergen in the 1930s."
So we start with a bit of a dead end. Perhaps the BBC series will discover a use of "nerd" predating the publication of Dr. Suess's original text, otherwise we'll have to stick with the possibility that Seuss may have invented nerds.

GEEK:
Most everyone knows the US slang term referring to sideshow performers (especially those who bite the heads off animals), but oddly it appears that this use of "geek" may be a "recent" development. OED suggests that "geek" may originate from the English regional term "geck" (although the origin is uncertain). "Geck" is defined as A fool, simpleton; one who is befooled or derided, a dupe, and has been documented as far back as the 16th century. It seems closely related to the verb "geck", to mock, deceive or cheat (derived in turn from the Germanic verb "gecken").

DWEEB:
Like many terms of nerddom, has a rather atypical spelling/sound pattern. Again the OED's etymology is uncertain (described as North American slang, with origin Probably from -dw (arbitrarily, or as in DWARF), + FEEB, c.f. WEED [feeb being of course short for feeble-minded, though I'm not sure about weed {except in the compound "dickweed", who knows if it's related}]). This seems fairly recent: OED's first quote is 1982, although Etymonline says 1968.

SPAZ:
For once no surprise, and no doubt as to the origin: abbreviation of SPASTIC. One of the OED's reference quotes is amusing (and brings in "square", another term I'm not able to cover): The term that American teen-agers now use as the opposite of ‘tough’ is ‘spaz’. A spaz is a person who is courteous to teachers, plans for a career..and believes in official values. A spaz is something like what adults still call a square. (1965). This term has a special place for me, as during my formative years (age 10) I had a very unfortunate resemblance to the film character Spaz (played by Jack Blum in Meatballs (1979)). Fortunately the nickname didn't stick. As far as I know.

DORK:
And back we go to the realm of the (somewhat) unknown. Dork is not only a foolish or stupid person but also a Midwestern term for penis. Described as "Of uncertain origin: perhaps a variant of DIRK, influenced by DICK" (and the term "dirk" in this sense originates from the bladed weapon of the same name [the origin of this term is also not known, according to the OED]). Although terms of this nature are also freely used to describe nerds and their ilk, I'm going to step slowly and gingerly away from the topic of male genitals. After all I am talking about nerds.

WIMP:
Another instance of US slang, with early use in 1920 according to the OED. Again the origin is described as uncertain: perhaps from whimper (c.f. English dialect wimp (of a dog): to whine). I've seen it spelled as "whimp" but this is not listed in the OED. Etymonline cites the role of J. Wellington Wimpy, "a comparatively unaggressive character in "Popeye" comics", in increased subsequent use of this term.

SWOT:
I wasn't especially familiar with this one until I started looking for information on nerds. This is an English term with fairly straightforward origins: a dialectal variation of SWEAT, and used to refer to someone who works or studies hard (c.f. grind). I suspect it's not in such current use, people might think of me as a nerd if I start calling people swots.

BOFFIN:
Another term of UK origin, specifically referring to scientific or technical researchers, "boffin" is especially common in news articles deriding the work of scientists (Boffins create zombie dogs, Seaweed boffins seek local Vanuatu samples and many more). This one is also in the list for the BBC Word Hunt (see above), as the OED simply has no answer for its origin (Etymology unknown. Numerous conjectures have been made about the origin of the word but all lack foundation) but only suggests it has its origins somehow in World War II ("The term seems to have been first applied by members of the Royal Air Force to scientists working on radar"). I am not aware of the various conjectures, but the etymological guessing game is one that anyone can play, whether with or without evidence of any sort. The OED's frequent "unknowns" really highlight the difficulty of finding accurate source information for linguistic origins, even for terms that have come into use quite recently (relatively speaking).

TWIT:
As referring to "a fool, a stupid or ineffectual person" (which perhaps moves a bit far from "nerd" which implies some sort of intelligence along with the absence of other desirable traits), its origin is from the verb "twit" (light censure, reproach, scold, taunt) which seems to have been a popular term in the 1500s (and in much older sources as "atwite"). So a twit is someone you twit (or atwite), not to be confused with its extremely close lexical neighbor (described as "low slang" and "of obscure origin", and again I will edge carefully away from the gutter).

NINNY:
Like a twit, a ninny is a nerd without the intelligence. It also goes back to the 16th century. OED gives the now very familiar "origin uncertain" plus speculation. In this case the OED suggests that the origin may lie in the term "innocent" plus the diminutive -y, and points out its relation to the slightly-earlier-documented term "ninnyhammer" (a blockhead, fool, or braggart) (a nice instance of usage from 1712: "That Clod-pated, Numskull'd Ninny-hammer of yours....").

Given current trends in usage, I think I'd rather be a geek than a nerd, a spaz than a dweeb, a swot or boffin rather than a twit or a ninny, and definitely not a dork. Please feel free to comment on any important ones I've left out.
language
Monday, July 04, 2005 2:01:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Friday, July 01, 2005
Traffic calming
Numerous different techniques are being used to manage (or mismanage) the flow of traffic around London; I pass so many different varieties on my (~5.5 mile) bike commute I thought I'd take a few minutes to describe the different varieties. Most common is the speed bump. Although I haven't counted them (mainly because I haven't exactly settled upon a regular route) my previous commute included about 70 speed bumps of various types. As it turns out the different types are explained in great detail on sites like this one (where speed bumps are within the "vertical deflection" category), and ranted against on sites like this and this.

Speed humps are the most common sort I encounter (distributed across just about all of the back roads I follow wherever possible), distinguished from other sorts by extending all the way across the road. For motorized traffic, the spacing between them seems to be the biggest issue: the closer they are together, the greater the reduction in vehicle speed (and the greater the impact on larger vehicles that bounce over them -- especially ambulances [one of the big arguments against humps of this sort is that ambulances are forced to slow down, thus increasing response times {and transit-to-hospital times}]). As a cyclist my biggest concern is instead the angle of impact: a sinusoidal hump is much smoother to ride over than a "standard" hump (i.e., one which rises at a sudden angle). The latter can be incredibly jarring to run into (just like hitting a small curb/kerb), especially when the adjoining road surface has sunk or deteriorated. This depends on the neighborhood, and the amount of heavy traffic.


One solution to the concerns for large motor vehicles is the plateau. In its simplest form the plateau is just a longer-than-normal (wider-than-normal?) speed hump with a flat surface on the top (also known as a "speed table"). This apparently prevents some of the "bounce effect" on motor vehicles; the issues for cyclists are the same as for speed humps (it all depends on the quality of the transition from the road surface to the edge of the plateau). These are especially common in intersections: most intersections in our neighborhood has recently been converted into fairly elaborate brick plateaus, although they've already been scarred by fast-moving cars (which hit the not-at-all sinusoidal edge of the raised brick section with a loud kerthump, and many of which seem to spew oil as a result).


Yes another alternative is the speed cushion. This is like a speed hump but with gaps to allow cycles (or the wheels of ambulances) to zoom right by without any vertical deflection whatsoever. Sounds like a great solution to emergency vehicles and cyclists alike, but in practice, this seems to provide even more danger, as car drivers tend to swerve so as to place at least one set of wheels in the "no vertical deflection" area (where there may or may not be a bicycle). Somehow I always seem to be riding over speed cushions in order to avoid being run over.


Another class of vertical deflection traffic calming measures is the "uneven road surface" like rumble strips and jiggle bars. Fortunately I don't experience any of these in my daily commute, as these can be really nasty to a cyclist. They're better suited as warning devices on high-speed roads (motorways and the like), not very well suited to any sort of residential areas as they're incredibly loud.

And that's just vertical deflections. I haven't even gotten to horizontal deflections (chicanes and half-chicanes), road narrowings, false one-way systems, islands, gates, speed cameras, pseudoroundabouts, or any of the futile attempts to keep pedestrians alive. Anyway, there are numerous official UK documents on traffic calming here, including the official traffic calming regulations, and just about anything else (PDF about traffic calming in Bird
bike
Friday, July 01, 2005 12:51:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Thursday, June 30, 2005
Recent speechifying
For work-related purposes I've needed to conduct a variety of text analyses, and thought I'd learn the ropes with some recent publically available texts. Why not choose recent speeches by politicans, I thought? Of course GW Bush's recent speech at Fort Bragg came to mind first.

In a first pass I simply counted the frequency of each word in his speech, then examined collocates (i.e. words occurring nearby) to unusually frequent words. Unsurprisingly the very most common words were closed-class (in decreasing order of frequency: the (442 times), and, to, of, in, our, a, is, we, are, that, their, they (76 times)). Most of those are also the most frequently occurring in the language as a whole, but the occurrence of pronouns "our", "we", "their", "they" is unusually high in Bush's speech (respectively 6th, 9th, 12th, 13th most common; in a "standard English corpus" [Kucera and Francis, 1967], those words are 136th, 41st, 40th and 30th). I then looked at the collocates of these terms to see what they co-occurred with. In decreasing order of frequency, the immediate collocates (just before or just after the target word) looked like this:

[of, and, to] OUR [troops, military, strategy, allies]
[and, that, as, if] WE [are, have, will, would, know]
[but, so, and, that] THEY [are, failed, can, have, know, need]
[lose, rebuild, defend] THEIR [own, country, lives, new]

This sort of analysis allows you to create your own speech based on generating random selections according to collocations (re-calculating at each content word, e.g. "Our troops are involved in the training to serve their leaders and 17 nations are German in Iraq.). Of course this is dependent on the corpus -- if you select only one speech, yours is likely to resemble that one quite a lot.

Next I looked at the most frequently occurring content words. Not much of a surprise that the leaders were Iraqi (64), Iraq (58), Iraqis (48), terrorists (46), freedom (40), forces (38), war (34), fight (30), military, security, troops (all 28). Combining the various forms of Iraq* gave 180 occurrences (thus falling just between "of" and "in"). Collocates look quite interesting too:

[the, of, new, train] IRAQI [security, forces, people, government, units]
[in] IRAQ [is] ("in Iraq" occurred 28 times; "Iraq is" occurred 18 times)
[help, the, as, helping] IRAQIS [build, to, will]
[of, our] FREEDOM [in, of]
[The] TERRORISTS [and insurgents, who]

It's interesting to contrast this with Tony Blair's recent speech to the European Parliament. Of course this was a speech with a very different purpose, so we wouldn't expect it to go IRAQ, TERROR, IRAQIS, FREEDOM, IRAQI, IRAQI, WAR, FIGHT, FREEDOM.... His most frequent words again include a lot of closed-class words, plus "Europe" (the [396 occurrences], of, to, in, and, it, a, is, Europe (116), that, we, be, I). A bit more "I" than George, and the content words are much different (Europe, people (44), European (36), debate (28), political (28), social (26), world (26)). Iraq and its variants didn't get a mention, and "terrorists" only twice. Here are some of Tony's preferred collocations:

I [have, want, believe, would]
[if,that] WE [have, are, should, can, need]
[the, modern] EUROPEAN [Union, defence, nations, Parliament]

And here's a Tony sentence generated in the same way: "I have to accept a Europe and to be active player in foreign policy."

I would play with this more, but now it's time to work with the tools instead.
language
Thursday, June 30, 2005 11:01:30 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Eavesdropping Heaven
When you're walking into work and hear someone shouting into her mobile phone "Do you want me to tell you the truth? Do you? Do you?", it's really hard not to slow down and listen in. I can't think of many other overheard phrases which give equally strong signals that the following exchange is going to contain something interesting, and this was no exception. Obviously the other party in the conversation wanted to hear the truth, so here it is:
You are a pathetic little man with no ambition in life.
Pathetic!
I would have preferred to hear more but even my slow pace carried me out of earshot a little too quickly (and as another pathetic little man with no ambition in life, I feared that her rage would turn toward me if I lingered too long). Still, it made up for the vast majority of overheard mobile phone conversations which are a bit less entertaining (mostly something like I'm on the bus. The bus. THE BUS! and the like). If I ever see her again, maybe I'll introduce her to a less-pathetic, larger man with at least a little bit of ambition. If I can think of anyone who fits the bill.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 9:43:11 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Beer Festival
As promised in a previous entry, it's time for a report of the recent beer festival at the Oakdale Arms. Friday night was just too hot and muggy to spend much time there, but we made up for it later in the weekend. Here are my tasting notes, in (approximate) order of consumption. The Dunce household uses an elaborate scoring system, summarized here (because I can't be bothered to search for suitable smiley images, and I don't want to set a precedent by using emoticons in this blog):

v = smiley face (most enjoyed)
/ = partial smiley (OK but not the best)
_ = neutral face (not good but not bad)
^ = frowny face (bad)

/ Burton Bridge - Moorish Mild. It's very light-drinking dark mild. Tasty but not exciting. One rating on ratebeer.com concurs. I would have added another but couldn't come up with 75 characters of comments (despite a nice bucket-of-words to help reviewers comment, including "Banana,Bubble gum", "Sulfur, Skunk", "Earth,Mold,Cobwebs", "Horse blanket, Barnyard, Leather", my palate is not sufficiently refined to taste any of these).

_ Nethergate - Dr John's Panacea. This was an unimpressive ale, not especially notable for any reason. Two reviewers seem to agree.

v Minchews - Stoke Red Cyder. This was a really tasty, strong (8.4% ABV) dry cider. My tastes run toward the driest of dry, and this was really refreshing with a strong bite. Mmmmmmm. My favorite from the cider/perry side of the menu.

/ Eccleshall - Slaters Shining Knight. Another one which is given an average rating by drinkers on ratebeer and I have to agree. I should note at this point that I favor a really hoppy beer, and this was not. Reminded me a lot of London Pride.

/ Orchards - Blended Perry (like cider, but made from pears). This was a fine drink, but compared to memories of Stoke Red Cyder, it just didn't stand up. It was dry but didn't have that bite of tartness which I prefer. It also didn't have much of the pear about it; overall just a little something missing. Not at all bad but nothing to write home about.

V Milton - Sparta. I was a little hesitant to go with a Milton beer as the Oakdale usually has a good number of Miltons, and to me a beer festival is an opportunity to taste things I wouldn't ordinarily find. But as it turns out, Sparta isn't so common after all -- it's not listed on Milton's website, nor on ratebeer.com. It's described as "A new beer in the ancient cities range", but that's about all I know (there is also apparently a Thebes which seems quite well-liked; I'm anxious to see more of the Ancient Cities in the future). Anyway, this was very hoppy and strong flavored with an excellent aftertaste, and the taste improved even more after a few sips (and no, this was not a product of intoxication). This is what I hope for when I drink a bitter. My pick of the festival

v Old Cannon - Gunners Daughter. This was another excellent pint, hoppy and tasty. Were it not for the pleasures of Sparta, this one would have been my top pick. Drinkers at ratebeer really seemed to like it as well, I guess that means my palate may be more refined than I thought.

/ Troggi - Siedr Penalt. And I finished it all up with another cider. Very much like the blended perry above, this was a decent, tasty drink. Rather dry, but very light in flavor. And again there was just a little something missing which made it only OK, not great.

All in all, a good festival. I didn't drink anything I didn't like (except for a taste of Mrs. Dunce's Umbel Magna [Nethergate] which had an unfortunate aroma of urine, and tasted like "tincture of something"). For the record, here are her drinks and ratings:

^ Nethergate - Umbel Magna
v Nethergate - Priory Mild
/ Pitfield - East Kent Goldings
v St. Austell - H.S.D.
_ Tipples - Longshore
/ Tipples - Redhead
v Wadworth - 6X

EDIT: fixed some of the ratebeer links; sorry I didn't check them all.
consume
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 11:46:41 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Friday, June 24, 2005
Disposing of your extra words
There seems to be a strange tendency in these parts to use excessive words on public signage. I always thought it was a rule (if not a law) that a sign should express its message efficiently and briefly. Like the following, for example:






On the other hand, every day I ride to work, I pass an anti-littering sign. Not the various sorts of brief, effective signs like these...

,
,

but something very much like this:



I want to know why "provided" is included on the sign. If the bins were not provided, it would be pretty difficult to place all rubbish in them. And does it really matter whether rubbish-holders place their rubbish in the provided bins, or some other bins? To me the main goal would be to stop them ("from" goes here in US English) littering near the provided bins, not filling the provided bins with as much rubbish as possible (ideally, all of it). What really concerns me is that the aforementioned sign (and the image itself) is listed by "The Sign Factory-Falkirk" under the "Mandatory Signs" category. I don't have such a sign up, but perhaps I should. The category also includes some other overly-wordy signs (Lock This Door #1, Lock This Door #2, Lock This Door #3,, Shut This Door). If only every sign were as clear, efficient and effective as NO SPECTACLE WRANGLING.
language
Friday, June 24, 2005 9:50:56 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Thursday, June 23, 2005
Dinner plans
Mrs. Dunce's aunt and uncle are coming for dinner this evening, so we've been thinking a little about what to serve1. Last night after another highly enjoyable trip to Asakusa (the restaurant, not the place, already reviewed here from our trip just last week [Really, we're not obsessed with it. It was someone else's suggestion, and she's leaving the country quite soon. {Of course we may have influenced her decision processes, but that's another story}]) we stopped by to pick up a few remaining groceries. We shouldn't have bothered, though. Another member of our household had already done the shopping. There was a lovely dead bird resting on the kitchen floor, Zosi's first ever contribution to our larder (I'll not say much about the feathers; fortunately nothing else was scattered around). Unfortunately Epicurious.com didn't offer much help (despite various different search terms [There's ROBIN in "Superfast vegetarian pizza" ?!?!?!]) so maybe we'll just serve a starter of dead bird sashimi. Or maybe we'll stick to our original plan.

1Looks like Javanese roasted salmon with wilted spinach (recipe here [Mrs Dunce swears by Epicurious and for good reasons]) and wasabi mashed potatoes (this might be the right recipe, but there's really not much need for a recipe, just add some wasabi to mashed potatoes. Mmmm).
beasts | consume
Thursday, June 23, 2005 9:44:56 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Wednesday, June 22, 2005
The Local again
In a previous entry I wrote a little bit about our local pub and teased a future entry about the beer festival going on at the time. Well, the beer festival was excellent, perhaps a little too excellent as that promised entry never appeared. But now it's time for another beer festival there, and we definitely need to support our local pub as there is some chance it will be demolished, and flats built in its place ("Demolition of existing building and erection of a three storey building comprising 4 x 1 bed, 2 x 2 bed, 2 x 3 bed and 1 x 4 bed self contained flats and parking at basement level", from the Planning Application [EDIT: dynamic link removed]). So our plans to visit the beer festival (maybe even more than once) are a selfless act of community support rather than some sort of decadent debauch. The Oakdale's website clearly shows that the geeks are in charge (well done to the geeks!): the "drinks" link takes you to a quite up-to-date (20 minutes ago at this moment) listing of "what's on" generated from their stock control system. At the moment it's quite obvious that the beer festival stocks have arrived; all of the following are listed as being in stock:

Burton Bridge Bridge Bitter (4.2% ABV)
Burton Bridge Civvy Salvation (4.5% ABV)
Burton Bridge Golden Delicious (3.8% ABV)
Burton Bridge Moorish Mild (3.9% ABV)
Caledonian Deuchars IPA (3.8% ABV)
Eccleshall Slaters Bitter (3.6% ABV)
Eccleshall Slaters Premium (4.4% ABV)
Eccleshall Slaters Shining Knight (4.5% ABV)
Eccleshall Slaters Supreme (4.7% ABV)
Eccleshall Slaters Top Totty (4.0% ABV)
Harviestoun Dragon Fly (3.6% ABV)
Highgate Beezone Honey (3.8% ABV)
Milton Jupiter (3.5% ABV)
Milton Justinian (3.9% ABV)
Milton Neptune (3.8% ABV)
Milton Pegasus (4.1% ABV)
Milton Sparta (4.3% ABV)
Milton Vindolanda Umbra (5.5% ABV)
Nethergate Dr Johns Panacea (4.3% ABV)
Nethergate Priory Mild (3.5% ABV)
Nethergate Umbel (3.8% ABV)
Nethergate Umbel Magna (5.0% ABV)
Nottingham Bullion (4.7% ABV)
Nottingham Cock and Hoop (4.3% ABV)
Nottingham EPA (4.2% ABV)
Nottingham Rock Bitter (3.8% ABV)
Nottingham Rock Mild (3.8% ABV)
Nottingham Supreme (5.2% ABV)
Old Cannon Best Bitter (3.8% ABV)
Old Cannon Gunners Daughter (5.5% ABV)
Pitfield East Kent Goldings (4.2% ABV)
Pitfield Original Organic (3.7% ABV)
St. Austell HSD (5.0% ABV)
Thwaites Thoroughbred (4.0% ABV)
Timothy Taylor Landlord (4.3% ABV)
Tipples Longshore (3.6% ABV)
Tipples Redhead (4.2% ABV)
Wadworth 6X (4.3% ABV)
Wadworth JCB (4.7% ABV)

This is not even counting the ciders and bottled beers (also available on the same report). Hmmm, going to have to start thinking about where to begin. We'll be there on Friday for sure. Once again I'll promise a beer festival report; only time will tell whether I will deliver.
consume
Wednesday, June 22, 2005 1:37:33 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Cowes to Lymington and then back again
This past weekend was the warmest of the year so far, so how could we resist a friend's offer to take us sailing on his boat?! It's not exactly a small boat so it was with a small amount of trepidation that we joined in. We got up on Saturday at a reasonable hour and took an air-conditioned train to Southampton (fortunately not the fictional one), then a high-speed ferry to Cowes on the Isle of Wight, and finally a little putt-putt of a water taxi across the River Medina to East Cowes (we could have taken the chain ferry/floating bridge instead) where the fine vessel BUGLE is moored. We were joined by a few of Sea Captain's cow-orkers (something in the Money business, I don't really want to know. Fortunately they were fine company and there was a minimum of sneering in my direction), and after hardly any preparation, we were off.

We chose perhaps a less than ideal day for our sailing trip, as the Round the Island race was going on at the same time -- something like 1700 boats all heading around the island and directly toward us (at the narrowest point, no less). So we decided instead to go against the tide (but with the wind) and head west, for Yarmouth (island) or Lymington (mainland [if you can call England "mainland"]; if you follow the Lymington link let me add [sic].). Fortunately one of our fellow sailors had plenty of sailing experience, so he and Sea Captain took care of all the details related to sails and ropes and the like.... Or so I thought until I was handed the tiller and told "Steer it straight". Well, it was a little choppy from all the ferry and powerboat traffic, and I was still getting my sea legs (OK, really I was petrified with fear and holding onto something solid for dear life), so my attempts at steering were not entirely useful. But soon enough we were underway, most of us lounging around the boat in the sun, sipping cold drinks, watching the other boats and mostly just relaxing. Despite my difficulties in the early stages I was passed the tiller again, and found driving much more to my liking as we cruised along. It was really easy going, mostly about 5-5.5 knots, and after a few hours we made the decision: Lymington it was.

I gave up the driving duties as we motored into the marina. It was especially crowded and we provided a great deal of entertainment to the locals, as first we attempted to thread between parked (docked?) boats, then tie onto a buoy without a boat hook (fortunately the other experienced sailor was also a rock climber, so he hung off the front of the boat like a monkey to tie on, and a fellow boater came by with a dinghy to help out). Then do it again, moving to an entirely different buoy as our mooring was in especially shallow water and we feared that we'd be left in the mud when the tide went out. But if you think that's funny, then we had to get to shore. Sea Captain's inflatable dinghy, however, was not exactly up to the task of transporting seven (7) people, being suitable really only for one at a time (two if they are very careful, being sure not to leave the grain alone with the chicken OR the chicken alone with the fox). The first crossing saw the passenger's trousers fully soaked, and the rest of us quite unwilling to get in. Fortunately one of the amused locals took pity on us and lent us a larger dinghy which we used to cross without further incident.

We had dinner at the Bluebird Restaurant, reviewed here but that review hardly gives an impresion of just how good it was. I think all of us ordered from the "specials" board which featured loads and loads of fresh, local seafood (I am drooling as I write this [Yes, more than usual]). I had a super-healthy deep-fried Brie as a starter and then a monstrous crab thermidor; Mrs. Dunce had gravidlax and then, errrr, some sort of fresh fish. All of it was fantastic, and those of us who had desserts (unfortunately not either of the Dunces) raved about them even more. Two of our number were staying on land, so the remaining five trooped back to the dock with devious plans to "borrow" a better dinghy for the return voyage to the BUGLE. But it was not to be, as we'd left our return journey too late, and only our own bedraggled inflatable remained. Somehow we managed to do it and stay dry, ferried one at a time (first taking the chicken to the boat, then the fox, bringing the chicken back, taking the grain to the boat, and finally returning to bring the chicken across). We all slept on the boat without incident as far as I know, and got up to a bright, bright, bright early morning.

And then we were off again, sailing into the wind. For the first couple of hours, against the tide as well, which meant that we made very little headway (on our first trip across to the isle and back we gained about 200 yards). Mrs Dunce and I served largely as ballast, scrambling across the boat during the tacks, moving to the high side for balance as we were consistently leaning about 25 degrees (it's probably not much but it seemed like quite a lot). Of course I counted the number of tacks -- I'm fairly certain it took just about 16 to get back to our starting point of the previous day. When we weren't tacking there was plenty of time to lounge on the boat and enjoy it. There seemed to be a lot more boats in the water, although perhaps it was just because we were tacking against the wind and thus crossing many more potential paths. But before long it was finished, so we docked, cleaned up the boat and came back the way we had come.

It was a great way to spend a weekend but there is definitely some post-sailing suffering. Despite vigorous application of sunscreen, I have a few nasty burned spots (knees, tops of feet), and poor Mrs. Dunce has discovered that she has a very nasty sun allergy. We're both on the mend, though, and ready to do it again.
travel
Tuesday, June 21, 2005 1:31:10 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  |