Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Route planning
As a bit of a map obessive I have been a big fan of Google Maps, and especially all the clever ways people have integrated other data into Google maps (e.g. Recent earthquakes, Traffic alerts, Find a taco truck in Seattle). Perhaps my favorite at the moment is the Google Maps Pedometer which uses Google Maps to plot, display, and calculate distances for any routes mapped by Google. The author developed it for running, but it applies just as well to cycling. Here is the route I photographed on my recent blog entry (my usual route, give or take a few back streets where I have choices). The distance is 5.40 miles (OK, perhaps the pedometer gives an excessively precise measure of 5.403858529828216 miles, the last ten or twelve digits of which should be considered highly suspect), almost entirely on side streets and taking somewhere in the vicinity of 22 minutes. Today I took a more direct route, illustrated here. It follows major bus routes until the last quarter mile or so, and is only 5.03 miles (5.032665737759287 if you want to be needlessly precise). You might think it should be faster -- I'm forced to ride at a quicker pace to flow with the traffic, and there's no joy in dawdling. But in fact it's consistently slower: today it took me about 28 minutes despite getting lucky with the traffic lights for the first half of the ride (8 traffic lights, compared to exactly zero in the first half of my preferred choice). The route is more direct and the running pace is quicker, so this is all about stopping and starting. I don't think I'll repeat the heavy-traffic route any time soon.
bike | travel
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 10:28:08 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Following the Blackberry craze
Once again I've ended up following the fad. Last time it was the novel Trilby, and now I've joined up with the Blackberry users. I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened. Kind of like this....

On Saturday morning I went to our local fruit and veg establishment to pick up a few chili peppers (and perhaps an impulse purchase of some locally-produced snacks of some kind). Having obtained the peppers (hot as blazes, by the way) and aforementioned locally-produced snacks (Japanese-style peanut crackers), I proceeded to the till where I saw another opportunity for impulse purchasing: plastic punnets of blackberries. Why not, I thought to myself, and asked for the price. "One pound" was the answer. A little steep, perhaps, but they looked really tasty, so I started to take one. "No, one pound for all of them." The carton of punnets was full and contained perhaps a dozen of them, each punnet perhaps 250g of the largest blackberries I'd ever seen, perhaps very near their sell-by date but how could I resist several pounds of blackberries for a pound? We sorted them out into "perfect" (say 30% of them), "fine for cooking" (squishy, but fine; perhaps another 60%), and "icky" (moldy or completely squished, the remaining 10%). A sudden influx of ready-to-go-bad fruit calls for desperate measures; fortunately we have several cookbooks by our near-neighbor Nigel Slater who is clearly obsessed with the summer fruits and has published a good number of recipes for the disposal of such. Here's where they went (aside from the sizable proportion that were eaten on their own):

"Perfect" berries went into a little fruit salad with some sliced-up green melon somewhere between a cantaloupe and a honeydew (which by coincidence we had already prepared).

Some of the less-than-perfect berries made their way into corn muffins (made by Mrs. Dunce), modified from a cherry and orange corn muffin recipe (instead of orange juice we used a tropical juice blend which did just fine). I had to chop the blackberries into quarters or sixths (or eighths for the largest of the blackberry gang) but they didn't disintegrate (surprisingly). Mmmmmmmmm.

And finally for Sunday breakfast I prepared a blackberry crumble without the crumble: put the rest of the berries into the bottom of a shallow pan, covered them completely with Greek-style plain yogurt (one of the staple ingredients in our home), then covered the top with a few tablespoons sugar. Popped the whole thing in the oven under a grill set as hot as it would go, and waited for a bit of carmelization. Can I say again, mmmmmmmmmmmm.

And just like that, they were gone (except for the muffins which we are carefully rationing out at a rate of one per person per day). I understand the craze although I couldn't figure out how to check my email (my fingers turned purple trying to compose a message, and I gave up).
consume
Tuesday, August 09, 2005 9:46:32 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [6]  | 
 Monday, August 08, 2005
Great British Beer Festival
Friday evening Mrs. Dunce and I took a little trip to lovely Kensington Olympia for this year's Great British Beer Festival (the largest beer festival in the UK). Friday night is perhaps the worst time to attend such a large festival as it was mobbed (and I mean mobbed) with after-work punters. The queue for entry stretched down the block -- I don't know exactly how far as we swanned in the CAMRA members' entrance1. The festival is set up geographically (but not properly corresponding to British geography), with beers from different regions grouped together (exceptions: "big brewers" were set up right at the front; bottled real ale was available at a separate bar; foreign beers in another; cider and perry in their own section as well [well, all the perry was sold out by the time we got there, as the festival had been going on since Tuesday]. Oh yeah, there was also a separate Wetherspoon bar.). I was rather impressed by the large number of mild ales on offer. It's difficult to get a handle on the hundreds of beers on offer; the question is always where to start. Mrs. Dunce chose to start with the award winners, while I followed a simpler path (targeting beers with "hoppy" in the flavor descriptions, for the most part, or else because the pump clip had a picture of a cute kitty on it2). As I've left our tasting notes at home, I'll save the beer ratings for another entry.

As I mentioned before, Friday night is the worst time to attend as it was unpleasantly crowded, and there were some tendencies for obnoxious people to shove their way to the front of the beer queues (beer is served by a relatively small number of volunteers, not all of whom have an experienced bartender's eye for "who's next"). There were, however, many individuals of the female persuasion present, far more than previous festivals we have attended (the Dunces' first festival as a couple featured what seemed like fewer than ten (10) women and a whole mess of men). Presumably this is a good thing for real ale which is fighting against a bit of a stereotype (beards, sandals, beer bellies): a couple years ago it was all the news that Madonna was a fan of real ale, but additional endorsements from famous women have not exactly been pouring in.

We forgot about the CAMRA members' lounge which offers the opportunity for card-carrying CAMRA members to quaff in the relatively uncrowded company of other sandal-wearing beardies with bellies, which would have allowed us to be a little less distressed by the crowds. There was no shortage of merchandise for sale, but we limited ourselves to a book on pub architecture (and were pleased to note that the Salisbury, the site of our wedding reception, featured quite prominently). OK we also donated a few pounds to the tombola (supporting historic pubs) but won a couple of glasses, a 2003 Good Beer Guide and a couple of badges for our trouble. After a few different beers we decided to leave before the very end (a little after 10pm) and joined a crowded train full of post-festival revelers, heading for home.

1Beer festivals do have a certain importance in the Dunce household. Our first proper date was the Pig's Ear beer festival, and our membership card for the Campaign for Real Ale was the first official document to bear Mrs. Dunce's married name.

2OK, I did pick one beer with a cute kitty on the pump clip, but I had already decided upon it on the basis of its description.
consume
Monday, August 08, 2005 11:17:23 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Friday, August 05, 2005
Absorbubbles
There is no shortage of pseudo-scientific terminology being used in avertisements. My favorite at the moment is the legendary Boswelox (TM) for which I can do no better than the official statement (taken from the link above, under the heading "The science behind the scenes"): "Boswelox(TM) is a breakthrough phyto-complex created by L’Oréal Paris that combines a power dose of boswellia serrata extract and manganese, which help reduce the appearance of lines caused by facial micro-contractions.". I'm not sure what a "power dose" is (concentrate, perhaps?) but boswellia serrata is also known as frankincense oil. Perhaps it's a "breakthough" in the phyto-complex (plant-derived compound) world because no one has thought to combine the two (Your frankincense?! In my manganese?!). Needless to say Boswelox(TM) has been trademarked in the UK so don't think of making your own Boswelox shampoo, perfume, haircare product or essential oil (I am not a trademark expert but you may be able to get away with Boswelox soup or clothing).

There is one such term which for some reason irritates me more than the rest, and that is "Absorbubbles", featured in Charmin toilet paper (the storyline of the advertisement linked above goes like this: "A young bear calls her dad when there is very little toilet paper left and she badly needs the toilet, however he tells his daughter that Charmin has Absorbubbles and she does not need to use as much." Thank goodness for the miraculous Absorbubbles (trademarked, of course). I'm not sure why I'm so bothered about Absorbubbles: maybe it's the mental image of soap bubbles each with its own tiny payload of human waste, perhaps it's the awkwardly repeated "b" (four bees in a word [three pronounced] is a lot, especially since one has been absorbed by the compounding process), or perhaps it's linguistic in nature.

"Absorbubbles" is a verb-noun compound (the verb comes first), and in which the noun ("bubble") is the entity which does the absorbing (i.e. the subject of the sentence depicting what is going on when an Absorbubble does what it's supposed to do) I'm not going to get into whether it is an AGENT or not as this is a matter of some debate). English verb-noun compounds tend to be of another sort; the first ones that come to my mind are NOUN-VERB(-ER) like "widowmaker", "corkscrew" (if "screw" is an action [quiet at the back!]). Wikipedia gives a decent treatment of compounding, giving examples of "browbeat", "sidestep" and "manhandle", all of which are N-V as well ("Compound verbs composed of a noun and verb are comparatively rare, and the noun is generally not the direct object of the verb. In English, compounds such as *bread-bake or *car-drive do not exist."). I have had a lot of trouble coming up with examples of true verb-noun compounds in English, and even more finding instances like "Absorbubbles" where the noun is the subject of the verb. The Wikipedia article linked above gives two examples ("call girl" and "playboy", the latter of which is an instance like "Absorbubbles" where the boy does the playing), but both of these are ambiguous as both "call" and "play" are syntactically ambiguous (they could be either a noun or a verb). Examples I've come up with myself are "jump-rope", "popcorn", "repairman". So they do exist and don't sound too bad (repeated exposure has a lot to do with this), but all of the "verbs" involved could instead be nouns, while this is not the case for "absorb" which does not have a noun homonym. I'm still looking for an unambiguous verb-noun compound (OK, "bubble" could also be a verb, but this is unlikely as it's pluralized [No one is going to convince me that "bubbles" in this sense is a verb, marked as third person present).

There's also a semantic component to my problems with "Absorbubbles" which I alluded to before. What do bubbles do? They float, and they pop. Who thought of putting bubbles on toilet paper, intended to absorb vile waste, then float away and pop, releasing their contents (most likely over someone's food). Needless to say I will avoid Absorbubbles as long as I can.
language
Friday, August 05, 2005 11:58:16 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Thursday, August 04, 2005
Tapestry Goes West music review
After a bicycle detour it's time to return to the West and the Tapestry Goes West festival; today I'll write a little about my impressions of the music (I've copied most of the artists' links from blogjam who has already taken the time to look them up). Here they are in the order in which they appeared (artists I missed aren't listed).

Friday night: We spent most of our time in lawless Silver City, trying to avoid looking high-strung outlaws in the eye. Who wants to be pumped full of lead on the first night of a festival?

Archie Bronson: A good loud rock band with a strong 1970s feel. Entertaining and energetic.

Rod Stern: Solo acoustic guitar stuff. Good, catchy songs, it's a shame about the lame spoken-word stuff. Hmmm where did I hear the same sort of thing before? Yawn, I'm soooooo shocked.

Swearing at Motorists: Playing on Friday in place of the Beat Up who, I guess, didn't show. Oh well. By far the best act I saw at the festival, see my previous entry for more.

Leaf Hound: Talk about 1970s rock, these guys had it in spades. I guess because they're a revived act from the late 60s/early 70s. One song sounded almost exactly like Black Sabbath, the next, Deep Purple, then there was a ZZ Top-ish one and so on. They were good at it but it's not exactly my thing.

Tokyo Dragons: Another act on the nostalgia parade, this time a hard rock sound from a little later in the 70s before all the spandex, glitter and makeup took over. It was all a bit much after Leaf Hound, I can take only so much of the 70s sound before I collapse into the fetal position (the 1970s, though my formative years, were not my best period). There was a lot of talk about whether the Dragons are serious or ironic (c.f. The Darkness) but really, who cares. A lot of people were really into them, and that matters more.

Misty's Big Adventure: We only saw their last couple of songs (in the rain, and the only real time we spent in Fort Smith on Friday) but it was a true spectacle. Goofy Zappa-ish something-or-another but mainly a lot like an insane cartoon soundtrack (their website gives a good impression of this). I can't really give justice to the dancing jester (of sorts) but I wish I'd seen more. There's a video for "Hey Man" on their Myspace blog (go to "view all blog entries").

And that was the music for Friday night. Saturday instead we spent nearly all of the day in Fort Smith (or at least that part of the day when the music was on).

Peter Bruntnell played the first Saturday set in Fort Smith. I've seen him quite a few times, some good acoustic songs (some of which are a little too catchy), but not many people braved the mist for his set.

Salty Dogs (didn't find a link): Some average bluegrass and old-timey standards (Beverly Hillbillies theme, Dueling Banjos, you get the idea), introduced in a slightly over-theatrical manner (a bit too Hee Haw for my liking) and played in a rather workmanlike fashion.

Swearing at Motorists played again after that; we were right down front and it was even better than the previous night, perhaps due to Dave's freakish control over the weather, stopping the rain for just long enough for their set.

We then headed over to Silver City for Circulus. A lot of people really hate them, as they manage to bring together several potential targets of hate into a convenient target: (1) They wear medieval costumes (c.f. renaissance faiyres). (2) They (mostly) play medieval instruments ("There's a reason people don't play those instruments any more"). (3) Their medieval music is fused with prog-rock of the most egregious sort (and it's not hard to find prog-haters). It's sort of like what might happen if a tour bus containing Yes and ELO crashed into the Minstrel's Tent at the Society for Creative Anachronism. But I think they're good fun (live); I'm a bit hesitant about their recorded material, however.

Unfortunately we returned too late to see the Rosinators who are fantastic. I've seen them many times and, I hope, many more. But it was raining fairly hard at this point so I chickened out and joined some of the masses inside the snack bar/bar/meeting hall where a lone (electric) pianist (the piano was electric not the pianist) was playing a little of this and a little of that.

And finally it was Alan Tyler to close the festival with some rocking country songs in the driving rain (or at least heavily blowing mist). Alan hosts the weekly club we attend on a not-quite-so-weekly basis at the moment. If only he'd update that website.

So that was it for the live music. Loads of people braved the rain and mud for the Sin City/Heavy Load nightclub in the campground but not us. We flopped into the tent and were dead to the world until morning. Or at least I was.

Other reviews of the festival can be found at Wendywire and blogjam (in case you're interested in reading reports that are untainted by my biased opinions).
music
Thursday, August 04, 2005 11:49:58 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [3]  | 
 Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Cycle commute
Today I followed the lead of a fellow London cycle commuter and documented my commute into London. Unlike MJ's rather harrowing commute through heavily trafficked streets (documented here) I have the good fortune of a route that involves almost entirely back streets. There is a (slightly) more direct route but it's one of the busiest roads around, with loads of traffic signals, heavy vehicles, lots of changing lanes and unpredictable drivers (and takes me about five minutes longer in the best of times). It's about 5.5 miles (depending on the exact route).

The first photo is our street; despite the incredible similarity with MJ's street (first photo in the thread linked above) we are separated by a mile or two. It's a fairly quiet residential street with buildings from various periods (on the right is early 20th century; just behind the trees on the left are some alms houses built in 1883). Cars need not be parked facing the direction of traffic.


I have now crossed busy Amhurst Park through a cycle-only entrance (motor traffic is one-way the other way), and am traveling south on the West Bank (on the west side of the railway headed for Liverpool Street). Yes it is a largely Hassidic neighborhood.


There is a small cluster of shops here (mostly kosher) and it's always jammed up with double-parked vehicles, plus plenty of slow and frequently stopping traffic for the many schools in the next couple of blocks. Hidden by the red van are two Hassidic gentlemen who walked out in front of me without looking.


Cutting through more back roads (where motor traffic is blocked) I come to Clissold Park. The main roads adjoining the park are narrow and heavily trafficked, which leads to fairly long tailbacks at the traffic lights. I avoid riding on pavements (sidewalks) so going through the park is the only choice. It's usually very empty during my commuting times so I can cruise through at full speed. There's a nice pond to my left, obscured by the trees.


More back roads on the other side of busy Green Lanes. Here's an instance of a chicane installed in the road for no reason other than to slow down the road traffic. Or more likely, to give speedy drivers some occasions to swerve at speed. Not pictured is the sign which visually illustrates that drivers should yield to oncoming traffic (except that some wag has flipped it upside down, so instead drivers from either side believe they should have the right of way). To the very left of the chicane is a gap through which cyclists can ride, if they don't mind some combination of broken glass and gnarled road surface.


Still more back roads, heading up a slight incline. The lack of traffic isn't just a coincidence; usually the only other drivers on most of this route are taxi drivers (suggesting that my route is a good one).


This is a real irritation most days: a shared-access cycle and pedestrian path along the edge of Highbury Fields. There are parks in both sides so cyclists need to be vigilant not only for pedestrians straying from a straight line, but also for small children, dogs and other park users running from one side to the other. At least today there was a clear path, and the shared section is only a couple hundred yards.


The most harrowing part of my journey and not well depicted in the following picture. This is the traffic roundabout at Highbury Corner; I take a long loop around it in order to go essentially in a straight line. Ah the beauties of London traffic control. There is usually a long line of traffic going to my left; in the photo I have just passed through it and am swinging around to my right. This is a major route (cycle and otherwise) into various parts of central London and as such I am leaving it very soon.


And just like that I leave Upper Street and duck down one of the many side roads. Again only cycles may travel in my direction. Note the split speed humps in the photo, as well as the "bicycle" markings on the road surface, and the nice terraced houses. And most importantly, that there is no traffic once again.


I briefly join up with another very popular cycle route. The green road surface is a dedicated cycle lane, emphasis on "dead". Note the cars parked right up to the edge of the cycle lane (Hello, door!). Also visible up ahead is a traffic island (the blue over yellow marker) which is there to slow down road traffic (it also features a road plateau). Most importantly it's not quite wide enough for a car and bicycle to go through at the same time (almost all cars swerve into the cycle lane to get through), unless the cyclist is keen on swapping a little paint. Fortunately the road plateaus mean that it's possible for a cyclist to travel at the same pace as the car traffic.


Just south of Kings Cross Station, this route avoids heavy traffic for the most part (although it's not often this quiet). I think the jagged paint markings are warning us about the zebra crossing up ahead (the one place where pedestrians have the right of way). This used to be quite a seedy area but has been greatly improved in the past year or two.


Now I join the masses of cyclists heading for the Russell Square area, the West End and all sorts of other popular central destinations. We're just passing into a traffic squeeze zone which mainly serves to trap delivery vehicles and create long traffic backups.


This is a brand new segregated cycle lane (which is gradually being extended westward at the rate of a block every few months). Dedicated traffic signals for cyclists and everything (although it's a real pain when delivery vehicles, ambulances etc. park in it). Unfortunately I'll want to go left in another two blocks, so it's almost not worthwhile to go from left to right for such a short trip.


And here it is, my destination. It's a really beautiful (apparently listed) building from the 1960s. Note the white railings which provide an efficient combination of semi-dry bicycle parking and a free bicycle buffet for local thieves.


My parking place, aka my office. Yes it is as small as it looks. That's my new 42-tooth chainring shining in the sun, a real difference from 32. Out the window you can see the windows of a large tourist hotel, which is why I don't change clothes in my room (I am afraid I cannot say the same about the tourists).
bike | travel
Wednesday, August 03, 2005 10:39:57 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Slug Bugs gone wild!
No one should be surprised that there is a competitive element to Dunce holidays, nearly always in the form of a SLUG BUG contest. The basic idea of the game is to be the first to see a Volkswagen Beetle, utter the words "SLUG BUG" plus its color, and punch ("slug") your opponent. The exact rules of the game are wildly divergent, including the "no slugback" rule which prevents subsequent slugging for the same bug, bonus points for certain colors or certain situations, and whether the new Beetle is a legitimate slug bug. In order to prevent disputes and permit high-stakes competition, we have developed our own house rules (or out-of-house rules) as follows:

A competition shall begin at a designated moment and stakes must be agreed upon before the first Slug Bug is spotted. The competition is deemed complete at an agreed-upon destination, or if no destination is specified, when the travelers return home. The first person to see a qualifying Slug Bug and begin the utterance "Slug Bug" shall be identified as the spotter of that Slug Bug. The scoring utterance is not complete until the color (or other words or phrases indicating the vehicles's appearance, such as "British flag", "sunflowers", etc.) of the Slug Bug has been named (and an opponent has been "slugged"), but another player cannot "scoop" a scoring Slug Bug by finishing the phrase and/or slugging an opponent first. Close calls should be decided by an impartial referee or by agreement among the contestants; in the event of simultaneous utterances the points shall be divided amongst the players. A player may not unduly extend the pronunciation of the initial "S" of "Slug Bug" in the hope of seeing a qualifying Slug Bug during the lengthy sibilant. False identification of non-qualifying vehicles as Slug Bugs is discouraged; frequent infractions may be subject to penalty. Slugbacks are never permitted; once a Slug Bug has been spotted it is removed from the competition. "Known" Slug Bugs (i.e., those with which the participants are already familiar) are not eligible for scoring, and it is considered bad form for one participant to select a route including Slug Bugs known only to him/her, and to spot those Slug Bugs as if they were unfamiliar. Spotting a Slug Bug not only offers the satisfaction of being first, and of striking your opponent, but also scores points as follows:

Ordinary VW Beetle aka bug ("Slug Bug"): One point

VW Beetle convertible ("Slug Bug convertible"): One and one-half points

VW Microbus aka VW van ("Slug Van"): Two points

In theory, ten points are awarded for spotting exceptionally customized vehicles such as a Slug Van converted into a truck, a Slug Bug dragster or other exotic vehicles (Slug Helicopter, perhaps?). Such instances must be agreed upon as "exceptional", otherwise they score no more than a standard Slug Bug of the appropriate class.

Half points may be awarded to spotters of partial Slug Bugs, but awarding of points in such instances must be agreed upon by the referee or participants (in the absence of a referee).

No points are awarded for New Beetles or an updated Microbus (should such an atrocity be loosed upon our roads).

Additional scoring classifications may be implemented for specific journeys (e.g. five points for a silver or gold Slug Bug for the Queen's Jubilee) but these do not carry over into future competitions.

Our trip to Cornwall took us into one of the UK's Slug Bug hotspots, as the VW Microbus is the vehicle of choice among the surfing community. As such our spotting was fast and furious, mostly two-point Microbuses so the scores mounted rapidly. I may have been at a slight disadvantage to Opal Dunce as I was behind the wheel, but I have previously prevailed under such circumstances. This time, however, it was not to be. The competition started at 9am on Friday morning, and finished at 6pm on Sunday afternoon (a total of 57 hours).

Final scores
Opal Dunce: 84 (1.47 Slug Bugs per hour)
The Dunce: 51.5 (0.90 per hour)

So I'll be buying the sushi this time around. I'll have to train more for the next outing... I wonder how many Slug Bugs they have in Estonia. Maybe I'll be the one to spot something like this.
travel
Tuesday, August 02, 2005 11:35:15 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [4]  | 
 Monday, August 01, 2005
Swearing at Motorists
Friday morning we set out bright and early (9am), headed for Cornwall and the Tapestry Goes West festival. An hour later we were still enjoying the London traffic creep, having been diverted for unspecified police activity near Mrs. Dunce's workplace (potential worriers, do not be concerned, this was nowhere near Dalgarno Road where snipers pointed guns at bare-bottomed bomb suspects at about the same time). I could go on in great detail about the journey, but will just say that at about 5pm we found ourselves in the vicinity of Spirit of the West, the festival venue. Only in the vicinity, however, as there is only a very limited amount of signage for this highly desirable tourist location. One hour later, after painstakingly traversing every road between St. Ives and Bodmin (perhaps exaggerated for dramatic effect) we found it & set to pitching our tent.

The Wild West theme park is divided into two areas: Fort Smith (the "good town", full of law-abiding citizens, proper businesses, and a snack bar) and Silver City (the "lawless town", full of stinking, no-good hombres of all sorts, a tavern full of lairy, leering misfits, and a gallows in the center of the square) and to some extent the musical entertainment reflected this difference (Fort Smith performers were all string quartets with powdered wigs, angel-faced boys' choirs and sweet little old ladies singing along to the player piano; Silver City performers were satanic demons eating the faces off young children, people who didn't wash their hands after using the toilet, and players of electrified instruments of all sorts. Or something like that).

There's plenty to tell about the weekend's events (to come later this week), but for now I'll just mention my musical highlight: Swearing at Motorists. Two guys, a singer/guitarist and a drummer (I don't think they are married OR brother and sister, there goes that comparison down the drain). A lot of loud, manic guitar playing and a sound somewhere between Flat Duo Jets and Steve Albini (Opal Dunce's opinion which I couldn't really better). Also the only act to perform on both the vile, degraded stage of Silver City (Friday night) and the pristine, family-friendly stage of Fort Smith (Saturday). Perhaps one of those circuit riders got to them in the night; there was definitely an unearthly power behind them, a few words from singer/guitarist Dave Doughman were enough to stop Saturday's rainfall just long enough for their set. When they finally finished I was near enough to the front to join the mad crush to buy Swearing at Motorists merchandise (I ended up with a handful of gravel, a corner of somebody else's setlist and part of Dave's ear. Actually, an early Swearing at Motorists CD). It's always a good feeling to be excited about a new band (OK they are not a new band, but new-to-me and not exactly well-known [as far as I know]).

Like i said, more tales from the Wild West later in the week. And possibly a cycle-commuting travelogue. We'll see...
music | travel
Monday, August 01, 2005 12:29:43 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Thursday, July 28, 2005
Spirit of the Wild West
Only the briefest of updates today, but I couldn't leave without mentioning our weekend destination. We are traveling to a Wild West theme park in darkest Cornwall to attend the Tapestry Goes West music festival. We went last year, so we (think we) know what to expect this time around. Except that maybe the entire place will be flooded out after this week's torrential downpours. I'll make a snorkel out of paper towel rolls just in case. Expect a detailed report next week (and I mean it this time, not like those other detailed reports which haven't quite materialized).
travel
Thursday, July 28, 2005 12:38:27 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Wednesday, July 27, 2005
No photos here, please move along
As promised yesterday, here are all the photos from my cycle commute to work this morning:
Caption 1: It's raining. And chilly. So I decided not to take the camera on my cycle commute.
Caption 2: I decided not to take the cycle either.
Caption 3: So why am I bothering to write captions for nonexistent photos of a nonexistent journey? Hmmm I'll have to think about that one.

One of the disadvantages of being close to several useful bus routes is that it's very easy to take the lazy way out and leave the bike behind. It adds about 20 minutes to my commuting time, but gives me a chance to read. Those of you who may think my reading choices are unusual, individualistic or somehow out of the mainstream will be very disappointed to learn that I am following a massive public trend with my current choice of reading material. Yes, I have joined in the fad and am now reading Trilby by George du Maurier (OK, I'm a little behind the bleeding edge of this fad which had its heyday nearly 100 years ago, but I'm a follower not a leader). As for reading it, well, it's certainly a product of its time: it's set in Paris and chock full of clever French bons mots, well, even entire conversations that are not entirely transparent to a dullard/simpleton reader who does not read French (surely the sign of an inferior education). But the real delight is being introduced to the original Svengali, whose name has of course entered the English lexicon " to designate one who exercises a controlling or mesmeric influence on another, freq. for some sinister purpose." (Oxford English Dictionary). But he is introduced in a very subtle manner which gives no clues whatsoever that he may have sinister motives:

First, a tall bony individual of any age between thirty and forty-five, of Jewish aspect, wll-featured but sinister. He was very shabby and dirty, and wore a red béret and a large velveteen cloak, with a big metal clasp at the collar. His thick heavy, languid lustreless black hair fell down behind his ears on to his shoulders, in that musician-like way that is so offensive to the normal Englishman. He had bold, brilliant black eyes, with long heavy lids, a thin, sallow face, and a beard of burnt-up black, which grew almost from under his eyelids, and over it his moustache, a shade lighter, fell in two long spiral twists. He went by the name Svengali, and spoke fluent French with a German accent and humourous German twists and idioms, and his voice was very thin and mean and harsh, and often broke into a disagreeable falsetto.

There is no shortage of Svengali figures in the news: GhanaWeb describes Karl Rove as Bush's Svengali (and wishes for even half-a-Rove behind Ghana's President Kufuor, perhaps missing the "sinister" implications of the term), and many other news or "news" articles use the term in the same contexts. Other Svengalis appear (like the original Svengali) in the music business (Suge Knight to Snoop Dogg, Alanis Morissette's "producer/collaborator/svengali" Glenn Ballard, Dr. Dre [who I believe is NOT a real DOCTOR!] to The Game, and numerous others). Maybe some day I too will become a Svengali, but first I'll need a velveteen cloak and a bad dye job.
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005 10:03:11 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Tuesday, July 26, 2005
London cycle commuting
With the recent events in London, massive numbers of commuters have dusted off their old bicycles and taken to the streets. This will eventually be a good thing for those who keep at it, but while we wait for the wheat to be separated from the chaff, there's a lot of irritation to be found from those who have not yet learned the simple rules of the road (well, maybe not that simple). My favorite this week was a young gentleman on a shuddering rattletrap, swerving back and forth in front of a large truck (perhaps the swerving was due to the loud music coming from his headphones, or maybe from the lack of balance as he was using one hand to write a text message). So what is it like to commute by bicycle in London? A friend of mine has recently posted a series of photos showing his own morning commute (check them out here), and it's inspired me to do the same. So that's my plan for tomorrow. I will of course be forced to break a Highway Code or three in the process, but that's a long-term challenge.
bike
Tuesday, July 26, 2005 11:23:04 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Friday, July 22, 2005
London by Routemaster II
In a previous entry I highlighted the limited number of London bus routes served by the classic Routemaster buses with a Routemaster-only bus map of London. Today is the last day for two more routes, 14 and 22 (some nice pictures at Casino Avenue (sorry, I'm not sure how to link to the exact post)). So I thought I should update my Routemaster-only bus map to indicate this change. Here's where you can get in London by Routemaster bus:

Larger image
(Please click on thumbnail for a very large version).
travel
Friday, July 22, 2005 3:18:22 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
Another Highway Code failure
Today's journey to work was much easier due to what seemed like a substantially reduced amount of road traffic. Probably this was related to yesterday's attempted bombings; people have chosen to "work" from home or simply start the weekend a day early. My department looks like a ghost town even relative to a normal summer Friday. Anyway this seemed an ideal situation to attempt my legal cycle ride to work (see my previous two entries). Although I previously decided to take the conservative approach when it comes to "crossing" zebra crossings, and dismount and walk the bike across them (or to avoid them), it turns out that I did not need to do so, as Code 64 (do not ride across a pelican, puffin or zebra crossing) is actually listed under a heading "Crossing the road". Therefore I need not be concerned with this Code as I do not use such crossings to cross roads. Careful reading of the Code suggests that not all violations are prosecutable (only those which include the words MUST or MUST NOT) but the challenge remains.

Anyway, to today's journey. Rather than bore you with the details of all the legal close calls (I'll bore you with something else), I'll jump right to the point of failure, which relates to overtaking (covered in Codes 138-145)1. If there is sufficient room on the roadway (and quite often there is), and if there is no marked cycle path, accepted practice is for bicyclists to remain on the left side of the road surface and let motor traffic proceed on the right. Often, however, the motor traffic backs up but the bike space remains open, letting me whiz right by the stopped traffic (one of the major benefits of cycling). But overtaking a vehicle on the left side is permitted only under specific circumstances. The first is definitely not relevant to my situation: "only overtake on the left if the vehicle in front is signalling to turn right"; the second is more of a possibility: "stay in your lane if traffic is moving slowly in queues. If the queue on your right is moving more slowly than you are, you may pass on the left." As a cyclist traveling on the left side of the road surface, I'm not exactly in a lane, and definitely not in a queue. However, traffic was moving slowly in queues (in the right lane), therefore I was entitled to remain in the left lane and overtake from that side (as long as I did not ride on the inside of vehicles signalling or slowing down to turn left, code 57). Unfortunately I didn't have the Highway Code at hand, so I chose instead to pass (carefully and considerately) between two of the cars and overtake them on the right side, failing to notice the solid white road marking ("no overtaking", like the solid yellow line in the US). When the traffic queue started moving, I joined the flow but quickly came to a traffic signal where I foolishly stopped beyond the stop line (many feet short of the intersection itself -- short enough that two cars were ahead of it). About 10 minutes' ride into a 25-minute journey (or longer under "following the code" conditions), and another failure. But now that I know the Code a lot better, I'm ready to face the challenge again on my ride home, and I think I'll stop writing about it until I succeed.

1I am very pleased to note that code 139 requires that drivers give cyclists "at least as much room as you would a car when overtaking". Of course they do not, but it's good to see official recognition of cyclists' road space.
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Friday, July 22, 2005 11:12:40 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Thursday, July 21, 2005
The Highway Code Challenge, first fail
I decided to take on the "Ride Legal" challenge on my way home, keeping the Code in mind throughout (see yesterday's post for details). The bicycle was still not fitted with reflectors (Code 46) so the challenge was already impossible, but I decided to try it out anyway to assess its difficulty. As it turned out I failed at the very beginning: intentionally respecting Code 54 (not cycling on a pavement) I moved the bike onto the street before mounting it (under the glow of a red traffic signal). Unfortunately I failed to notice that I was several feet in front of the stop line, in apparent violation of Code 55 (crossing the stop line when the traffic lights are red). However as I did not actually pass the stop line, but entered the road beyond it, I considered this a technical "pass". I waited for the light to turn green, signaled my intentions to turn right (safely, carefully and considerately [Code 53]) into a designated cycle lane (Code 49). But at the next intersection the traffic signal was red, so I took one foot from the pedal and stopped (well behind the line, in a queue of other cyclists). Keeping both feet on the pedals is part of Code 51, so by touching the ground I may have failed the challenge. Here I argue that the pedal rule (as well as the other parts of Code 51) applies to the act of riding itself, and that stopping is an interruption in riding and as such not subject to Code 51 (i.e. it is no longer required to keep both hands on the handlebars and both feet on the pedals).

When the light turned green I proceeded, legally passing a couple of painfully-slow cyclists but remaining within the cycle lane. But an obstacle loomed at the next intersection: an ambulance occupied most of the cycle path. Most cyclists gave it a wide berth (even passing through gaps in the barrier between the cycle path and the main road) but I rode very close to the ambulance, again observing Code 49 by remaining in the cycle lane (as it was possible to do so). The forward path was blocked by construction barriers: ordinarily I would have gone straight anyway as the barriers are clearly in place to block four-wheel traffic (the cycle lane is a clear and open path despite the construction), but there was no signage permitting cycles. Therefore I signaled my intentions and turned left, followed by another signal and a right turn1, after which I planned to turn left and rejoin my original path (rather than the alternate route which involves negotiating the nasty snarl of traffic at Kings Cross station).

Unfortunately I had forgotten that a zebra crossing was between me and my desired turning (the next one). There were no pedestrians crossing, but according to Code 64, I should apparently dismount and wheel my cycle across. Unfortunately I was at the head of a string of cycle traffic (some following me very closely), with a line of four-wheelers passing as well, so I thought it would be dangerous to suddenly stop and dismount, so I zoomed right through. No question, I had violated Code 64 and thus failed the challenge. Within five minutes, no less. Despondent, I rode the rest of the way home without obeying the Codes, riding through at least eight more zebra crossings, stopping in front of no fewer than six stop lines2, continuing through a very stale yellow light as it turned red, riding outside a cycle lane (which looked more like the lunar surface than anything someone should be required to ride on), failing to signal my intentions on frequent occasions (never mind the countless times I took a hand off the handlebars). Today I was so depressed about the likelihood of meeting the challenge that I took a bus to work instead of cycling.3

Since then, thought, it's occurred to me that I may be misinterpreting the Highway Code thanks to ambiguity in the English preposition "across". The sentence "Do not ride across a pelican, puffin or zebra crossing." (henceforth, PPZC) could be interpreted in several different ways. Putting aside those interpretations which involve actual contact with animals, this sentence could refer to crossing the PPZC itself (perpendicular to the path of the pedestrians who would use the PPZC), or to crossing the road using the PPZC (parallel to the pedestrian path). The Oxford English Dictionary's entries for "across" seem to favor the former: "1. Direction: In a direction forming a cross with, or transverse to; a. at right angles with. b. at any angle with; sideways or obliquely against. 2. Motion: From side to side of; quite through, over, in any direction except lengthwise." Therefore I think the challenge still must stand as is, at least concerning PPZCs. I think my best hope is to choose a route with a minimum of PPZCs; unfortunately my feeling is that this coincides with the greatest amount of road traffic.

1I should note here for the reader unfamiliar with London/UK traffic management practices that stop signs are virtually unheard of; unless there is a traffic signal every intersection is a "yield" situation, either in the form of a roundabout (especially common where there might be a four-way-stop in the US), or in the form of pavement markings which indicate that traffic from one direction must yield. This makes it much easier to travel without stopping (and without disregarding traffic signs).

2Some intersections have "advanced cycle stopping zones" which are in front of the stop lines, and in which cycles are expressly permitted to wait according to the Highway Code. However, these are nearly always fully occupied by four-wheelers. Stopping behind a stop line where these zones are not present is not only a good way to be shouted at by other cyclists (and motorcyclists) whose path closer to the intersection is being obstructed, but also a good way to be squeezed out if the first vehicle in line is planning to make a left turn (and most likely has crept up past the line before the light has gone green). Besides, going past the line is a deeply-ingrained habit for me, it'll be very hard to follow this one.

3Or I may have decided to leave the bike behind because after work I am going to a gig and would rather not leave the bike on Oxford Street where it's very likely to be stolen no matter how well it's locked. I could of course leave it overnight at work, but then I'd have to take the bus the next day.
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Thursday, July 21, 2005 11:44:13 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Congratulations, you've installed DasBlog!

Be sure to visit all the options under "Configuration" in the Admin Menu Bar above. There are 16 themes to choose from, and you can also create your own.

 

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 7:00:00 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Stupidity and Idiocy
It's time to announce the official awards for stupidity and idiocy. My good friend Google has been pressed into service to determine the winners. The domains of stupidity and idiocy fall into three categories: WORLD, UNIVERSE and "EVER", and the winner is whichever entity chosen by Google as the top search result for sentences of the form "* is the (stupidest person/biggest idiot) (in the (world/universe)/ever)". Let the following serve as benchmarks of stupidity/idiocy against which we can all measure our own stupid or idiotic acts.

Stupidest Person in the World
Mark David [Chapman], murderer of John Lennon. From John Lennon memorial page (HK). You may think you're stupid for locking your keys in the house, but at least you didn't murder any of the Beatles (there are still two left if you want to try).

Stupidest Person in the Universe
"Richard": "well i guess that is about it for this entry besides that fact that Richard is the stupidest person in the universe... he says that he didnt post the GOD messages on melissas xanga but yet he says he posted the last one that means he posted them all because the times is 1 minute btwn the entrys of Richard and GOD so it is obvious...". From xanga of "Nightfoenix" aka "xskaterchicx" (don't follow the link unless you are a masochist). I suspect M.D. Chapman would have done something even more stupid than posting the GOD messages, but he's still imprisoned as far as I know.

Stupidest Person Ever
This award goes to Bam Margera famous skater-boarder and star of intellectual fare such as Jackass and Viva La Bam. Mr. Margera is also "the worst skater ever.... his show viva la bam is dumb and every1 that has met him thinks hes a jerk and when like little kids ask him for his autograph he will be like screw u and all the little kids look up to him i really think that no shops or websites should should support and sell bams products cause hes a jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". From a letter to CCS Connect. It clearly takes a concerted effort to be the stupidest person ever.

Biggest Idiot in the World
Guy who wrote the article "Is your son a computer hackor" [sic] on Adequacy.org. Unfortunately certain posters on a techimo.com forum didn't seem to realize the article was a joke, so perhaps this title should remain vacant for the moment.

Biggest Idiot in the Universe
Steve Lyons for his book "Doctor Who: The Witch Hunters" (The TARDIS arrives in Salem Village, Massachusetts, 1692....). According to reviewer Finn Clark, "no Doctor Who book has ever taken me this long to read... Even if you personally accept this story's rationalisation of a steerable TARDIS, you've got to accept that it's startlingly atypical for the period....." and concludes "Steve Lyons is the biggest idiot in the universe to try to write a sequel to The Crucible. I've seen it done properly, and only about a year ago. No way could he have lived up to that. Ever, ever, ever.". This suggests that anyone could become the biggest idiot in the universe simply by trying to write a sequel to The Crucible. Here's my effort: "Parris comes back to Salem after all and becomes a successful businessman. The end." Maybe I'll win next year's competition.

Biggest Idiot Ever
Apaprently an inside joke on Baseball Think Factory referring to a forum troll named "Randal" who posted the question "Are you the biggest idiot ever?" on multiple discussion threads. Apparently taken from the animated series "Clerks", according to the Baseball Think Factory's wiki. But as no "biggest idiot ever" has actually been identified, this title must remain vacant.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005 12:51:14 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |