Confederacy of a Dunce - December, 2005

Friday, December 30, 2005

Today's headlines shout "Coldest day in 19 years" as temperatures as low as -10C were reported in parts of the UK, and travelers are again suggested to avoid all unnecessary travel as the winter storms are due to continue today. So of course I decided to put on my layers and ride my bike to the lab to get some work done. After all, it was above freezing (1 C), and the rain was only heavy at times (and I couldn't tell that there was a 25-30mph wind until I was out in it). And the rain only got harder as I rode. Not being entirely equipped with rain gear (only my jacket and shoulder bag are waterproof), I got drenched pretty much instantly (even though I have installed fenders on my bike as a good cycle-commuting citizen). Fortunately I had enough layers that I stayed warm (thanks mainly to the Remington ninja costume I was wearing under my layers), and a small bit of foresight meant that I had some dry clothing waiting for me in the office. To conserve energy over the holiday period (the university is technically shut until January 2) all heating has been turned off; fortunately I was able to scavenge a space heater from a colleague's office, which (the heater, not the office) is now surrounded by damp clothing, giving a lovely steam-bath air to the office. By the time I head for home, my clothes will be dry enough that I can put them on, until I soak them again within minutes of going out the door.

Other than me, there are no signs of life in the building (most university staff seem to be taking full advantage of the official closure), so it's been a good opportunity to get a lot of work done without interruption or disruption. The nasty weather also meant that I was able to sneak into a very public space¹ (Be warned, the footnote may contain geocaching spoilers) to find another geocache. I've known about this one for quite some time (and have even seen it!), but there always seem to be lots of people in its immediate vicinity so I have been unable to complete my visit by signing the logbook. Today was different: the driving rain and cold temperatures meant that even the most hardened bench-sitters had gone somewhere else, so I was able to finish finding the cache and mark the logbook. Now I'm back in the lab with a hot cup of coffee and just a few more things to finish (and just a few more items of clothing to dry) before the journey home. At least the wind will be (mostly) at my back (if the local weather station is to be trusted).

^<1>The location deserves its own entry, not just a footnote to my new interest in geocaching. But for now, this will have to do. It's Tavistock Square, site of the bus explosion this past July (here are a couple of entries I wrote at the time: the day; the next day). Here's a very nice panoramic photo of the square, taken on a much nicer day than today. The main feature of the square is a statue of Mahatma Ghandi (photo, another photo); it also contains a memorial to conscientious objectors, an Hiroshima tree and Holocaust memorial (for these reasons, and its proximity to Friends House, it's the first stop on the "London Peace Trail"). All that right under my nose, across the street from my office.

bike | travel

Friday, December 30, 2005 2:19:59 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Holiday ramble

The Bank Holiday Tuesday news was full of the terrible winter storm. We were not spared as nearly an inch fell in the morning hours. With my midwestern background I felt the total snowfall was downright feeble, and the media frenzy perhaps a bit excessive. On the other hand, in general this area is not equipped for snowfall in any amount -- there is nowhere near enough equipment to clear the roads, and most drivers are (presumably) not instantly prepared to turn in the direction of the skid (it is an automatic act for me thanks to a certain Bill Cosby routine which was played repeatedly in our house during my formative [pre-driving] years). So perhaps the warnings to stay indoors and eat your Christmas leftovers were reasonable.

We, instead, decided to take advantage of the holiday to take a ramble in the freezing cold (hovering right around 0 C, 32 F). Perhaps at my insistence, thanks to Opal Dunce's generous Christmas gift (GPS, European version). We loaded a few nearby geocaching waypoints and headed toward the Lea Valley, one of my frequent cycling haunts. There were a few people out and about, but nowhere near as many as there are in the summertime. That meant we were able to search for (and find) the caches with little fear of discovery. We were able to find three of the four caches: two micro-caches (small magnetic containers, each holding some paper on which finders could log their visits), and one "traditional" cache (a tupperware container with a log book and some assorted small items [finders are meant to take an item and leave another]). But the fourth (another micro) was a little too difficult (too many possible locations [a magnetic micro-cache, and zillions of metal surfaces], and a few too many passersby) -- even though we made a second visit to that particular location on our way home, we still couldn't find the cache. Even using the hint. But for a first geocaching outing, I think 3/4 is a good find rate (I should note that I've seen one traditional cache near my workplace, but it's in a very heavily trafficked area and I haven't gotten up the courage to sneak up to it). Oddly enough, all four sites appear in my cycling photographs from the end of September. When I took the pictures I had no idea there were geocaches in those particular areas; it's an excellent example of "right under my nose". All in all, our ramble took us just a smidgen over five miles (thanks to a slight diversion on the way home: we were magically led to Sharon's Bakery where we collected some freshly-prepared falafel for a much-needed lunch).

The weather storms are supposed to continue today; in fact last night's weather (and this morning's) warned that any sensible person should not make any non-essential travel. So I decided it was time for a bike ride to work. Somehow I made it here successfully through the lashing light breeze and treacherous bright sunlight, where I will labor diligently for another couple of hours before loading up the huskies for the dangerous journey home.

travel

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:34:40 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Monday, December 26, 2005

Christmas Eats

The Dunces had a nice Christmas at home this year, featuring lots of cooking considering there were just two of us (not counting the cat who did not partake of any of our holiday cookery).

We started with a sweet breakfast of sticky rolls. These were cinnamon rolls, made from a slightly sweet dough, then loaded with a maple syrup and pecan sauce, and baked until a lot of the sugary sauce escaped from the springform pan (whoops!) and filled the house with the smell of burning sugar (and loads of smoke for a short time). Fortunately the rolls didn't suffer, and the self-cleaning oven did its job on the charred mess.

We coasted through the day on additional sticky rolls and assorted snacks before the main Christmas dinner, which contained exactly zero items I would have even considered tasting at a younger age (but which turned out to be fantastic):

Strudel thingys: For this dish we boiled and mashed a couple of sweet potatoes (choosing carefully to get orange sweet potatoes instead of various incredibly-starchy white-fleshed root vegetables that are also called "sweet potatoes" around here). To this we added some sliced leeks (cooked in butter), roasted red peppers (from a jar; we did not roast them. This time) and chopped feta cheese and pecans (one of two ingredients in the whole meal a younger Dunce would have considered eating). After mixing these, we rolled them up in sheets of filo dough (they looked a lot like burritos at this stage), topped them with poppy seeds, then popped them in the freezer to solidify. After a couple hours of freezing we baked them. Mmmmmmmmm.

We also had some roasted vegetables: parsnips and butternut squash, cut into longish strips. A little bit of oil, some sea salt, and a bunch of thyme, and a long while in the oven made them roastily delicious.

And then it was the brussels sprouts. I'd eaten these guys only once or twice before, and I think I had a perfect record of retching to date (each instance of brussels sprout eating also included at least one instance of retching). So I may have been a little bit hesitant, but Opal Dunce was somewhat insistent upon this British Christmas standard. Imagine my surprise when they were really wonderful (pan-browned in butter with slices of garlic and pine nuts).

And for dessert, we had a HOME-MADE cheesecake (topped with raspberries, the other ingredient a younger me would have eaten). This was Opal's first home-made cheesecake (although I helped with the mixing, Opal should be given full credit for this one), and perhaps brought us some stress as the process was not entirely smooth. It was meant to be baked at 180 (C), and we are sure that the oven was set to 180 at least at the beginning of the first baking phase. But somehow (perhaps by an accidental brushing against the temperature dial, perhaps by a ghost, perhaps kitty-sabotage) the cooking commenced at 130 instead. So it really didn't solidify until we rectified the error (after two baking cycles had been completed). As it turns out, cooking a cheesecake at 130 for the designated time, followed by 180 for (nearly) the designated time, was a reasonable success. So after a shortened cooling period (supposed to be 8 hours, but we didn't want to stay up until 4am waiting for dessert), we tucked in. Yum, yum.

Today, Boxing Day, will safely be a day of leftovers. But tasty, tasty leftovers. And of course the servants can have their holiday as well now.

consume

Monday, December 26, 2005 12:25:08 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Ungrammaticality in the wild

In reading today's news I came across a sentence that seemed so horribly ungrammatical that I decided I had to rant about it. I found it in an article in the Guardian with the headline Defiant Bush defends wiretapping powers. The headline itself is an interesting example of a "garden path" sentence. "Defiant Bush defends wiretapping" would be a perfectly good sentence, and it seems to me that "wiretapping" occurs much more often as a noun than as an adjective (I don't have any firm data; "wiretap" is not such a common word). In the above headline, however, it's used as an adjective, modifying the noun "powers". When I first read it, I was briefly "garden pathed": the word "powers" seemed anomalous and I had to think a moment in order to correctly comprehend the sentence. That's not ungrammatical, though, just potentially difficult.

The ungrammaticality comes in the first subheading (or whatever it's called in the online news biz): "Democrats scent blood after reining in privileges". I thought that surely it should be "smell blood"; isn't "scent" a noun? But before charging in with a rant on the theme of "SCENT IS A NOUN AND ONLY A NOUN, AND ANYONE WHO USES IT AS A VERB SHOULD BE DRAWN AND QUARTERED", I thought I'd sniff around the various uses of "scent". Of course "scent" can be used as a verb in a transitive sense, meaning to infuse something with a different smell (for example, Google search for "scented the * with" finds assorted sentences of the form "X scented the Y with Z") but in this instance the Democrats do not seem to be infusing blood with any particular aroma. As it turns out, however, "scent" has centuries of history as a verb, particularly in the context of hunting ("scent blood" as essentially synonymous to my preferred "smell blood"); the Oxford English Dictionary gives an example (c.1400): "Whan hares be ygete with the kynde of a conynge..the houndes lust nor sentith hem nought so wele." So I definitely shouldn't rant about what seems like an entirely correct use of the verb "scent". I am somewhat vindicated by the observation that "scent blood" is far less common than "smell blood" (1040 Google hits for the former, 89,900 for the latter), and that "scent" is far more commonly used as a noun than a verb (even in British English; the British National Corpus of 100 million words includes 851 instances of scent used as a noun, vs. only 27 as a verb). So it's not ungrammatical, just unusual. Some might say, however, that a sufficiently unusual form of expression may as well be considered ungrammatical. It depends on how you define "ungrammatical", which is perhaps a question for another day (if you are the keeper of the "rules of grammar" [part of the OED definition of "ungrammatical"] please step forward as I have a few questions for you).

language

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 12:56:29 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Monday, December 19, 2005

More on pizzas

I guess the BLT pizza. while not showing many signs of actually being the "#1 pizza in USA", is still reasonably well-known at least in certain parts of the USA. For some reason my attention has repeatedly returned to various different and unusual pizzas and pizza toppings. For example, it struck me as very unusual that sweetcorn (just "corn" to US readers) is such a popular pizza topping here in the UK. I was also very confused by one vendor's "Indiana" pizza (primary ingredient: tandoori chicken); as a Hoosier born and raised in Indiana, I couldn't figure out what tandoori chicken has to do with Indiana. As it turns out, my Indiana bias led me to ignore the general properties of pizza name formation in the Italian tradition: "Indian + a" (I leave it to the reader to speculate on a pizza topping that accurately reflects Indiana [sweetcorn, perhaps?]). And some of our recent family holiday conversation turned around my brother's German experience of Pizza mit Polyp. Sounds disgusting indeed until you realize that "Polyp" is simply Tintenfisch aka octopus (Well, I suppose some people may find an octopus pizza just as disgusting as a polyp pizza).

With my perhaps excessive interest in pizzas, my attention naturally turns to northeast England, in particular Stockton-on-Tees, town where the friction match was invented, and home of the least prototypical pizzas that I have personally experienced (i.e., "been in the same room with"; not necessarily "eaten"). I will start with the Tropicana which starts with an ordinary pizza (mozzarella, tomato sauce, mushrooms, ham, and perhaps slices of onion if I recall correctly), and then takes the Hawaiian experience that much further by including not only pineapple but also tender slices of banana. It's sort of like dinner and dessert all in one, and why not -- it's all heading to the same place. I didn't try any, although I guess I could have picked off the ham (and maybe the bananas too).

Next on the menu is the Doner Pizza, of which I also claim personal experience despite not consuming any of it,¹ as several pieces were threateningly brandished in my direction. The doner pizza is essentially an attempt to project the three-dimensional doner kebab onto a two-dimensional surface. The typical ingredients of a doner kebab are not all represented in doner pizza. Included are lamb sliced from a massive meat cylinder which one hopes has been kept at a suitably high temperature; spicy chili (or "chilli") sauce, and some variant of tzatziki sauce both of which are poured generously onto the giant heap of meat (by the way, the "heap" ruins the mathematical purity of the doner pizza as a 2-d projection). Which in turn rests on an ordinary pizza crust (taking the place of the traditional pita). Not included on the doner pizza are any members of the vegetable family. The doner pizza is a great improvement upon the ordinary doner kebab as, erm, well, hmmmmm. Let me get back to you on that one.

But next up is the true wonder of the pizza world. The London Pizza is an amazing step toward making the ordinary pizza into a complete meal on its own. How often have you ordered a pizza and a portion of chips (a.k.a. "french fries" or "deep fried potatoes") and wished you could eat them at the same time? Well, the London Pizza allows you to do just that. It starts with an ordinary cheese pizza (mozzarella, tomato sauce) upon which is heaped a giant portion of chips fresh out of the fryer. On top of the chips, if you're lucky, some sauce (either chili/chilli sauce [as above] or creamy garlic sauce). If you're unlucky, just try and choke them down "dry" (not really dry, as they will have retained some portion of the frying oil that has not soaked into the crust, and then into the box, and then into whatever the box is sitting on). I've experienced the London Pizza twice (the first time, doubly-sauced [the pizza, not me]; the second, dry as a bone), and I can say that if you ever face the decision of "sauce or no sauce" on your own London Pizza, please choose whatever sauce is at hand. Oddly, I have not yet been able to find a "London Pizza" in London proper, but I guess they'd just call it "pizza" here.

¹Feel free to attempt a less awkward and more grammatically correct syntactic rendering of this ugly modifying clause with its nasty dual co-referential "of"s and their unpleasant pronominal partners "which" and "it".

consume

Monday, December 19, 2005 2:24:01 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Friday, December 16, 2005

No. 1 pizza in USA

We get a lot of flyers for fast food delivery through our mail slot. Sadly, most of them are incredibly underwhelming and, if anything, make me dream of the nutrient capsules we will be eating instead of food in the future. But once in a while there will be a gem. Maybe not a gem of the "good food" sort, but a gem nonetheless.

Today's gem is a piece of information concerning American pizza preferences, brought to you by "Top Pizza" of Stamford Hill ("Top Pizza Special": beef, pepperoni, onion, mushroom, green peppers, ham & sweetcorn). What do you think is the "No. 1 in USA" pizza? Before seeing the definitive information provided by the authorities at Top Pizza, my guesses would have been something like this:

1. Pepperoni
2. Sausage
3. Cheese

And misinformation provided by pizzaware.com seems to confirm my guesses to some extent: "Pepperoni is by far America's favorite topping, (36% of all pizza orders). Approximately 251,770,000 pounds of pepperoni are consumed on pizzas annually. Other popular pizza toppings are mushrooms, extra cheese, sausage, green pepper and onions.". Fortunately this kind of misguided thinking has been debunked by Top Pizza who clearly describe one particular pizza as "No. 1 in USA"). That pizza is (drum roll please.....)

Of course it is .... the BLT. Bacon, lettuce & fresh tomatoes. Nothing we Americans like better than the BLT pizza. A Google search reveals only 737 hits for "BLT Pizza", but I assume most of the vendors have given it a zingier name for advertising purposes (or to integrate it more completely into their line of less popular pizza products). I am not sure whether the crust is made of lettuce (you know, to catch all those Atkins stragglers who haven't heard yet), or whether it contains mayonnaise (an additional requirement of the BLT despite its uncredited appearance). And I'm not sure how well the BLT translates into Britain where bacon is of a decidedly different nature (thick and soft rather than thin and crispy). Nonetheless, BLT enthusiasts rejoice; your pizza is No. 1 in USA!!!

consume

Friday, December 16, 2005 12:38:36 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A long quiet period punctuated only by the occasional hacking cough

Dear Friends,

Please forgive my excruciatingly long lapse in posting. Contrary to what some of you are surely thinking, my recent trip to the US did not include any road-to-Damascus moments which resulted in an overt decision to post much, much less. Instead, I brought back with me not only pleasant memories and bulging luggage (and belly) but some sort of debilitating chest cold / flu / wasting fever which developed into a lovely case of bronchitis, causing me to take to my bed for a period of some days. Rather than walking you through the specific symptoms (therefore you will have no need for your phlegm color chart on this particular occasion) I will only report that I am back in business (if my efforts can be said to be businesslike in any way; I am sure many counterpoints can be made to such a claim). Normal posting will resume in due course (at least, I hope so).

Cheers,
The Dunce