It's 43 hours and counting until the Dunce parents arrive for their first visit to London and the UK. Preparations are being made to ensure their maximum well-being and entertainment pleasure. We have sourced the finest drugs the underworld has to offer, made arrangements with exotic entertainers of all sorts, and put together a 24/7 clubbing itinerary that will eclipse even those legendary raves from back in the day. They've both expressed some concerns that our fair city will be unable to meet the demands of their high-flying party lifestyle, and to be honest we aren't sure either. Fortunately the cat has agreed to be on her best behavior, so at least there's that.