Table Rules

Friday, November 06, 2009 2:34:24 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
I think it's time to lay down some uncontested rules for appropriate behavior at the table during meals, so the little darlings will know for what they are being fined when I start levying fees. *
 (* These fines go into a jar marked "Mommy's Money" and when there's enough in there, I get to go buy myself some ice cream.)

So.
Here are the rules.
1. Thank God.
2. No kicking.



3. No pushing or pulling. (This is a problem when someone shoves the table and hits the other in the chest, trapping him against seat and table in an uncomfortable position. This is also a problem when suddenly the table is pulled away from a boy who is eating because his brother saw fit to give it a mighty tug.)



4. No blocking. (Think "Talk to the hand" or something. This is one of the most horrifyingly evil things a brother can do to the other -- hold his hand up, palm facing the brother, thus "blocking" one from the other. It's cause for hysteria.)



Now that you know the rules, you can come have a meal with us.
See you soon!
Friday, November 06, 2009 4:29:19 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
Hilarious! I like the ice cream fund idea...mine would be Starbucks. Hmm...I'm seeing fines in my kids future! :)
Friday, November 06, 2009 8:32:20 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
I thought you had another table rule...or is that to taboo to be discussing? :)
TripleThreat
Monday, November 09, 2009 9:23:33 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
Hilarious--and you have a gift for telling it; I still have tears rolling down my cheeks and The Dad even got a brief chuckle!

Now. Tell me this: how on earth did you get the pictures? I suppose they were staged?

And you can tell your friends that, yes indeed, fining DOES work? I think I remember only ever getting one milkshake out of the deal!
Monday, November 09, 2009 9:28:35 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
By the Way, I am not sure I can, after all, come eat with you. Not sure I can abide by your stringent and unreasonable rules.
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