Call It What You Want...

A suspicious-looking car cruises through the deserted streets of downtown in the wee hours of the morning, sliding to a stop in an empty parking lot opposite the typical small-town businesses.

A shady character disembarks from the passenger seat, yet the car waits in the shadows, engine running, while the unknown person crosses the street toward the darkened doors of long-closed merchants. A robbery, perhaps? Something evil must be afoot.

Fortunately, Officer Friendly is at the ready, having seen the car coming to a stop in a place it shouldn't be at this hour. He has stopped his police cruiser in a place prominent enough to discourage all but the foulest of criminals, with his headlights shining into the eyes of the alert getaway driver.

The driver, fearing for freedom, makes his move, tires squealing as he pulls away from the curb, running red lights through the sleepy streets of downtown, exceeding the posted 25-mile-an-hour speed limit by at least 50 miles, trying to outrun his pursuer until Officer Friendly catches his prey in the Kroger parking lot. The shady character who was left behind, clearly up to no good downtown, has, in the meantime, been apprehended in the act of some terrible crime, and the getaway driver has also been captured.

Another wretched crime foiled by our town's finest.

That's not exactly how it happened. It was more like 10:00 p.m., and the suspicious car was a gas-electric hybrid Civic, which pulled up in front of friend Ericka's apartment to drop her off. Officer Friendly did indeed pull into the neighboring Subway parking lot, headlights shining into my eyes, waiting until I pulled away from the curb.

Ericka safely within her front door (I always feel it's polite to make sure she at least gets inside before driving off, though I doubt anyone would have the temerity to attempt some sort of mischief on her), I pulled away from the curb (signalling my intentions, naturally). Officer Friendly followed me. Left turn at the first stop light, officer behind me. Straight through three lights in downtown (all green for me as I cruised a mile or so below the posted limit), a stop at the light across the bridge with the officer still behind me. Once across 19, he did turn into the Kroger parking lot and gave up chasing me for another day.